Kingdom Come Undone

Dwindling Mercurial High - Part 1

Nearly seven full days without Alison by my side was proving to be more difficult than either of us had anticipated. I made it to Tuesday before I felt myself starting to crack. We spoke over the phone twice a day: during our lunch break, which Alison had adjusted to fit my schedule so that we could Facetime during those 30 minutes, and at night after Jacob was asleep. Our nighttime calls had a strict midnight cut off, but I found my mind thinking about her long into the next morning. I think it was her smile. The sincerity that lingered just past her lips. I loved making her smile. Or laugh. The way her giggle caused her shoulders to pull up at her sides and tuck her head into the right of her collarbone. Or when I made her laugh too hard and the phone in her hand fell onto the bed so that I could only hear its boisterous echo. But every time I considered her laugh or her smile, I remembered the moments of silence between us. The times that while lying on my side staring at her that she did the same. As if internally etching each divot and feature to hold us over until our next conversation. She frequently bit the side of her bottom lip obviously deep in thought, and I knew I would give anything to be inside of her mind. To be one with her thoughts. To be even closer than we already were.

I was already lying down Tuesday night when I heard the phone ring on my bedside table. Picking up my phone, I checked out my reflection in the screen before accepting the call, ensuring that my ponytail was intact and my sports bra adjusted to tease Alison just enough for her to be simultaneously annoyed and grateful.

Sitting up against the headboard, I tilted my head adorably to answer, "Hi, babe." I kicked my feet involuntarily out of excitement as she popped up on my screen. She was settled into her robe while walking into her bathroom to start taking off her makeup, as was part of her nightly routine.

Hearing me speak as she was still adjusting her voluminous hair behind her right ear, she smiled endearingly, "Hey..." Her voice was distant until she looked directly at me and blushed, "Ooh, you dressed up for me tonight."

Earned smile #1. I tracked internally as I lifted my phone diagonally to the side for her to get a better view of me in just my bra. "I figured that after all of your teasing with your robe on each night that I might as well return the favor."

She held up her hands as she propped her screen against her mirror with a makeup wipe in hand, "Look, I'm not going to complain about it by any means. But I would much rather have you here instead."

"We were so spoiled last week and didn't even know it." I groaned.

"I know, sweetheart. But we can appreciate the next time we see each other even more. Give me one second to get this eye makeup off?" she asked, peeking her face in front of the lens with only half of her makeup removed, "Then, I'm all yours."

"Sounds good." I watched her do a silly dance as she rubbed her eyes complete with a small shimmy and full body twirl in her robe.

She was quickly becoming everything to me. Seventeen days was all it took to know that my life had been meaningless before her. I had been accomplished and successful, but I had never been fulfilled. I had never seen my brokenness on full display and known someone else was that missing piece. I had spent my adulthood wondering when she would come along and now that she was here, I pinched myself daily to make sure this wasn't a part of an elaborate scheme.

"You're beautiful." I whispered as she pat her face dry before starting on her moisturizer. "Like right now, exactly like that."

Alison laughed, "The bags underneath my eyes would beg to differ. You have rarely seen me with my makeup off in person. I'm sure the camera makes it all look a little better than in real life."

"You mistook what I said, Ali. You're beautiful all of the time however you wish to look. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I find you equally attractive in that pink robe, hair in a messy bun, and no makeup on as I did the night you took my breath away at the gala. I'd tell you same thing if I was in front of you right now, or if I woke up in your arms tomorrow morning, or if I only saw you in makeup for the rest of our lives. I love you in all your forms and want you to be assured of that no matter if you feel incredibly confident or surprisingly vulnerable. Does that help?"