Kingdom Come Undone

Built To Fall

A/N: Though it may not always seem like it, 90 percent of the time, I feel pretty shitty for leaving you guys to wait for literal MONTHS for a new chapter. This one has sort of melancholia associated with it, so I figured that it being shorter but keeping the same feeling throughout may be worth it. So this chapter is like just under 9,000 words. I hope you all enjoy it though it isn't terribly pleasant... just a warning. :)

Enjoy!

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Loneliness. I hadn't felt it since Alison left me standing at the gala nearly six months ago. But walking in from the night air into a similarly pitch-black home only made me audibly sigh as I tossed my purse onto the couch to turn on the hallway lamp. The house was empty, devoid of energy. A place that once provided me solace in my singlehood now struck me silent. After over a week of their absence, even Alison's perfume no longer wafted through the air. I could only hear an echo of Jacob's laughter. The green grapes in the fridge had started shriveling as I refused to eat them just in case they walked back through the door at any moment.

But it was now Friday and even though Alison and I had spoken, no part of me felt resolution. Sure, I was still speaking to Jacob at least once a day but only due to not wanting him to feel like somehow something had changed. So that no matter how upside down our world felt, his might still feel together. I made myself a gin martini with two olives before sitting down in the relative darkness of my living room. I was prepared for the only sounds I would hear for the next 12 hours to be solely of my own voice.

To only be of our conversation two days earlier. A conversation that palpitated through my thoughts with more veracity than my own heartbeat. Because in that conversation, it felt as though everything fell apart.

The only thing that got me through Wednesday was that I forcibly took a half day. My stomach felt as though it had constantly been on a rollercoaster since receiving Alison's voicemail the day before. No part of me knew how to reply to her after listening to the call. In fact, I listened to it on a loop for nearly half an hour before it sunk in. She knew. Well, she knew nothing while simultaneously knowing everything. I had expected it though. Not this exactly, but I had anticipated the day I needed to tell her. The day that I walked through the door and realized that I couldn't take it any longer. I never thought I would be telling her by near sheer force.

I put on an oversized sweatshirt after climbing upstairs and cuddled up onto the bed, knowing that comfort would be the only thing to get me through this. Before calling her, I sent a quick text to ensure that now would be a decent time.

Hey. Took a half day so we could talk. Would now happen to work?

was worried you somehow missed my message. Jake is with his grandparents through this evening, so you can call whenever you're ready.

My breath escaped me without notice. Alison had ensured Jacob wouldn't be around for the call ahead of time. She knew the gravity of it all before her phone even rang. It was disheartening that I had even let this all reach this moment. That I hadn't done more. But we were here because of exactly that. I had already done more than enough.

Swallowing my pride, I went to the voicemail Alison had left and clicked redial. It rang three times before we were connected. Alison stayed relatively silent, our heavier breathing the only sound existing on the line. And despite her promising to say only two sentences, she spoke to me gently.

"Are you there, sweetheart?" All I could mutter was a weak affirmation through the line. "Thank you for calling me. Because of all of this though, I think we should FaceTime. Especially if you're nervous about getting everything out. How does that sound?"