Kingdom Come Undone

Well Enough Alone - Part 1

I didn't know that I could love her more. I hadn't realized that I had the space inside of me to contain exorbitant delight. That a space I had created years ago meant to keep people out had been broken down overnight. All I wanted was for her to be here. I never wanted to be without her again. To spend a night without her touch. To fall asleep without her wrapped around me and the feeling of her breathing against my back. To wake up out without her baby blues being the first thing that brought peace to my day.

I considered all of this and more waking up the next morning as we both longing stared at each other. My alarm had gone off half an hour earlier and yet, I had no intention of ever leaving her side. Alison lay on top of me beneath my comforter, her head resting on her arms relaxed across my chest while her body was draped between my legs. I cocked my head to the side for better eye contact as my fingers danced through her hair. Both her hair and makeup looked mildly unruly, but they were overtaken by the etch of a grin that lingered behind her lips. I relished in our silence. In the care we held for each other in the quiet of a muted Monday morning.

"When do you need to be at work?" She murmured, kissing just above my chest, her fingers tracing down the arm currently sorting through strands of her hair.

"By 9. But the sooner I get there, the sooner I can come home."

She used her right arm to prop herself up as she placed a kiss on my cheek tenderly, "Home..." She hummed in glee before rolling to my left to give me an opening to escape.

"I'm going to take a shower." I leaned to my side, pressing another peck on her forehead, "On most occasions that would be considered an invite, but after last night, I think you would be a little more distracting than helpful."

"Next time then." Our eyes locked once more as she smiled broadly.

"Next time... I love you."

Alison's hand fell against the side of my face as she lifted herself for our lips to meet once more. She was delicate yet passionate in all the right ways. It sent a shiver through my spine without intent. "Love you, Em."

I slipped out of bed, looking over my shoulder to watch the way she looked at me just one more time. There was something powerful about the experience of seeing yourself through the eyes of another. The moment when you realize that the person in front of you knows and believes in an entirely different person than you internally face. Alison saw me with a simplicity I didn't have the pleasure of extending to myself. She looked at me without the shame or the guilt I carried from every choice I had made throughout my life leading me here. She looked at me endearingly and without fault. The way she looked at me made me want to be worth her stare. Worth her time. Worth her.

After my shower, I faded into my closet to browse clothing options for the day. But it was impossible for my mind not to wander. The water droplets cascading down my back mimicked the ripple effect of Alison's fingers dancing down my curves the night before. The heat still palpable on my skin echoed her breath against me as she lingered delicately over the new-found discovery of my body. Despite the smell of soap, Alison's vanilla-laced aroma hidden in the curve of her neck still haunted my nostrils. I quivered as my fingertips traced the bottoms of the fabrics in front of me. I no longer had control over my thoughts. My every thought was her.

I selected a tailored black and white pin-striped suit for the day, knowing that Dr. Onyeke and I were meeting with executives to cover our progress over the first quarter of our first year together. Walking into the bedroom, I found that Alison had fallen asleep again, lying on her stomach as her porcelain skin glowed in the light shining through the window. I drifted downstairs to start some coffee for the day before setting out some breakfast options I had purchased for Alison to search through when she officially woke up. Sneaking upstairs, I opted for some simple makeup and straightened my hair, knowing that post-presentation it would go right up into a ponytail.