Kingdom Come Undone

All Over Me

A/N: As always, thank you for your patience and your continued support.

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Over the course of the past few weeks, the only constant for Jake was pressure. Incredibly common after any form of brain surgery, but even more common with tumors located just off of the spine and brain stem. One of the major functions of the spine involves the connection of the nervous system to the remainder of the body. It allows pain receptors to flow from point of impact up to the brain, causing us to react, and then sends those receptors back again to start the clotting and healing process. But imagine if all of that work were taking place within just a few inches of each other. Imagine that instead of that pain and pressure delay that naturally occurs due to the distance, it was constant. Inescapable.

Medication helped, but it didn't prevent Jacob from not understanding, from attempting to find a way to course correct. He quickly found that crying increased the pressure behind his eyes and therefore, the pressure on his incisions in general. After crying, he tried hitting the sides of his hospital bed in frustration. But the nerve endings in his hands caused that to quickly stop as well from the vibrations that found their way to his brain stem quite easily. There was no reprieve for him, and he let us know it as often as he could.

"I thought this time would be better, Emmy." Alison mentioned concertedly over our second weekend post-surgery as Jacob faded into his second nap of the day following quite the bout of complaining and whining.

I exhaled into her touch as she curled her body into my lap in the chair we found solace in. The far side of the room our paradise in this hellscape. "He understands more now. He knows he can't cry it away. He's just frustrated, love."

"And you're positive it's not swelling?"

Nodding in return, I attempted to comfort her with the single trace of my thumb along her waistline, tucking her legs further into me as we whispered, "Yeah, baby. I check at the beginning of the day, during lunch, and at the start and ends of my shift. None of it is out of the ordinary. A part of his brain is just hyper-healing following major surgery."

"I had forgotten this part. You know? Like this part is worse because he wasn't in this much pain pre-surgery."

"Soon, he won't be in any pain from this. It'll just take time."

We sat silently, lulling Alison into a nap against my chest. It's the only time she had been sleeping as home was too far away for her to sleep peacefully even with me by her side. So she usually slept during my hospital shift, tucked into me as tightly as she could while still being close to him. The understanding that Jacob was potentially the safest he could be all day with me immediately in the room with him.

"E?" I heard Jacob's voice rasp from across the room some time later. My eyes had found peace while closed and sitting up from my spot, I saw Jacob staring at me.

Taking one deep inhale, I tightened my grasp on Alison before standing up with her still in my arms. "Don't wake up, Ali. J asked for me." I whispered, laying her on the love seat prior to enveloping her in a nearby blanket. "I'll be right back, love."

Earlier that Saturday, Jacob had been fully removed from a majority of his machines as he had been deemed eligible to go home 11 days post-operation. He remained attached to a heart monitor and an interchangeable, self-administered pick of morphine directly in a line up his back. "You okay, buddy?" I asked lightly, placing my hand gently on the top of his head to kiss his temple.

"Can we do what we did earwyier? Iss not working." He lifted the morphine button and pressed it repeatedly without a sound coming from the machine.