Running The World With You

First love

I've been painting with my mother for two hours. My attempt at painting a cherry blossom tree isn't looking awful, but I still have a long way to go.

My mom is painting a picture of a cat next to a fruit bowl. It looks professional. She's so talented and she never even brags. If I could do that I would never shut up about it.

"You should sell those, you know?" I say. She looks at me and smiles slightly. Her painting smock is splattered with the red she used to paint the apple.

"Nobody would buy my work. It's amateur." She shrugs. Amateur? If that is amateur then what am I?

"I'm serious! Your so talented and anyone would want beautiful art from a queen!"

"I suppose. I don't know, it's just a hobby for me. I love to paint and selling it would just take away from that. Plus I don't think I could part with any of them." She confesses. I understand that. I kind of like coming in here and looking at it all too. My dad insists every piece of hers is hung somewhere. Mom usually hangs them in here.

"That makes sense."

My mom puts down her paintbrush and looks at me. She had an unreadable look on her face.

"Come, let's go sit somewhere. I have some things I wanna say." I nod and hang up my smock. She does the same and we walk to the library. Nobody is here. We sit down on a green couch in the corner.

"How are you feeling about this?" She says, looking my straight in the eyes. I know exactly what my mom means.

"I'm ok mom. I know this is for everyone." I smile and she shakes her head.

"No, I mean for you. It's ok to be selfish sometimes." Mom chokes, holding back tears. I pat her on the back.

"Hey, I'm good. Lucius is respectful and we get each other. We all knew I wasn't going to marry for love." I decide to leave out the part about Lucius telling me that he loved me. I'm not even sure if it was true or not. We haven't talked about it since that day.

"I love you father I do." She mutters. Huh?

"What?" I ask. She looks up at me, realizing that she said that out loud. She lets out a sigh and runs a hand through her shorter brown hair.

"Before I met your father, there was this boy. Carlos. We spent every day together. He worked the grounds of our palace. We were just kids and I-" she stops to wipe her eyes.

"I fell in love. We were infatuated with each other. Then, my father told me I was going to marry your father. We were furious, but I didn't have a choice. I had to. So, I said goodbye to Carlos and moved to Andorra. Haven't seen him since." Mom finishes her story and looks at me with tear filled eyes. I can't believe my mom went through such heartache. Losing someone you love is so difficult.

"Mom, I had no idea."

"Just please, don't tell your dad. He doesn't know about Carlos and I'd prefer if it stayed that way. I love your father in the right way." I nod and pull her into a hug. I always thought of my mom as a strong person, but she is so much stronger than she lets on.

"I won't." I promise. Dad would only get angry. He loves her too much and knowing she had someone before him would crush him.

"I'm sorry I can't take you out of this messed up system." She chokes, pulling away from my hug.

"Don't be sorry. I'm a strong person, just like you. I love you so much mom."

"I love you too Amora."

*****

I look in the mirror and walk down to dinner. The story my mother told me replaying in my mind. I'll never be able to look at my parent's relationship the same way. On one hand it's wonderful, on the other hand it took my mother away from her first love.

I sit down next to Lucius like I always do. My dad at the head and my mom on the corner next to him. Me opposite her and Lucius next to me. Every day.

The lamb is brought. Nobody has spoken yet. As the days to the wedding near, less talking occurs. After dinner I have to go pick out flowers. I'm thinking a combination of peonies and white Lily's.

I'm having my dress fitted tomorrow. It's my mom's. I wanted to wear it. Hopefully my daughter will want the same.

I eat my lamb in silence. Everyone is busy with their food. Even Lucius isn't bothering me. The wedding had everyone on edge including me.

In four days I'm going to be Amora fucking Balcray and there is nothing I can do about it. Lucius is changing, but I wouldn't choose to be with him.

I finish my food and excuse myself. Lucius does the same and follows me to the living room where the florist is positioning flowers.

"Why are you following me?" I ask. I can feel him staring at me while I'm walking. Of course now he wants to mess with me. Right when I have something to do.

"I want to help you pick out flowers kitten." He says. Of course. He wants to be helpful. Why is that so hard to believe?

"Mhm. Well I already have them picked out. Peonies and White Lily's." I turn around and face him. He stops and smirks at me.

"Lily's, huh? Not a very fitting choice." He says, amused in his voice. What's so funny? It's just a flower.

"What about them?" By now his smirk has grown into his devilishly handsome grin.

"They mean innocence, virginity, youth. Didn't think that was really your thing." What? How did i not know that? Ugh, I look stupid.

"Well, then your going to have to help me find another flower to go with peonies since that is not what I want." I grab him by the arm and pull him into the living room. The older florist smiles and bows.

"Your majesties, I have a selection of our finest flowers out here for you to choose from." She coos. I nod and look at the selection.

Lucius does a once over, looks at me, and then looks back at the florist. He's got the biggest smirk I've ever seen. What is he up to?

"We want the peonies and white Lily's!" Lucius confidently says. Oh no he fucking didn't.

"We never agreed on that asshole!" I shout. The florist looks scared and quickly packs her bags.

"I-I'll get that order processed r-right away!" She stutters before making a run for it. No no no!

"You are fucking dead Lucius Balcray!"