One and Only

Chapter Twenty-six

Six days after delivery Desai was home but wanted to be with her babies. They would be in the hospital for a month maybe longer that was just the way it was when there were quads involved, and they came two months early.

And she felt as if it was her fault. Lately, she felt as if everything that went wrong was her fault. She knew it wasn't true but that in no way stopped her from feeling that she was to blame for every wrong thing that was happening.

Damn hormones!

Her doctors had assured her that 'this too shall pass'. She hoped so, she felt as if she had cried enough to water all the lawns in London. She was also placed on Depo-Provera injections that she was informed would not interfere with her breastfeeding but would protect against pregnancy. She loved their children but – no – just no – not right now.

Maybe not ever. As elated as she had been to find out she was pregnant ... that elation soon turned into something she wished she had thought about a bit more. Oh, she loved her babies and was glad they were here and healthy, but being pregnant with that many at one time. She wasn't sure she wanted that again.

Thomas was, as always, attentive and kind, he was absolutely the reason, and well, so were the babies, that she drew breath. He insisted that she take things easy as her body healed and she couldn't disagree.

She hurt. Her incision hurt so badly that she carried a pillow around with her holding it tightly against her abdomen. Her back felt as if it were being punched at times, however, the doctors assured her that feeling would go away after a while.

She wanted her children, never in her life had she felt so much love for another being. She wanted to hold them, nurse them as she had while in the hospital. Her breasts were working overtime and so were her breast pumps. She was producing so much milk that they had begun donating part of it to the preemies and freezing it so that her babies could have it throughout the day. Sometimes she felt like a cow with a milking machine attached. Well, she thought, at least these huge boobs are good for something besides just hanging around all day being sore.

Thomas made sure she was taking it as easy as she should. Still having some abdominal cramping and dizziness from the epidural which she was told was a side-effect sometimes. "Leave it to me," she had said with a slight laugh as she stood looking at the babies who were swaddled and lying in their small cribs in the NICU. She would go in and sit in a large rocking chair and they would pass the babies to her one at a time as she took turns nursing them, afterwards, Thomas would help burp them as he sat in another rocker next to Desai. She would look over at him as she nursed and he would have this beatific smile and expression as if his world was now complete and she supposed it was, she knew hers was.

The naming of the children was easier for Desai than it was for Thomas, he was adamant that there would be no Thomas William Hiddleston II. She understood that and they settled on the names Harry Edward, James William, Catherine Faith, and Sophia Grace. She wasn't sure if he realized it but the boys carried the names of characters he had played, she knew better than to try and name one Magnus, oh but she wanted to. The girls, well, characters of the women he had loved, in the movies of course. Sophia would more than likely be shortened to Sophie and Catherine to Cate. She smiled at him as she finished nursing Harry, he seemed to be the healthiest, he was the largest of the four, weighing in at just over 1kg (2lb. 5oz.), James came in at 2lb. 4oz., Catherine's weight was a half kg at 2lb. 2oz. and little Sophia was the smallest at just 1lb. 12oz. Thomas could literally fit her in the palm of one of his hands.

He was a tall man not so much large but Desai knew that these children would literally be looking up to their father someday. The babies looked so small in his arms and she knew that little Sophia was bonding with her father in a special way; she settled with him when no one else could console her. And of course, he loved every minute of it.