Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshots

Doppo Kunikida

"Have you ever read about Kunikida's ideal woman?" Dazai asked me. I shook my head. "Well here you go then!" He tossed me the notebook and bounced off to distract him before he could notice I had it. I flipped to the page that said "Ideal Woman" and there was definitely some things I could've gone without reading. "(Y/N)! WHY DO YOU HAVE MY NOTEBOOK?" He came over yelling. "Dazai gave me it," I said. He grabbed the notebook and ran back over to yell at Dazai some more. I gave a dejected sigh when I realized I really didn't mean the qualifications. I wasn't organized, I couldn't cook that well, my place was somewhat put together, and like Dazai I often slacked off. I guess I'm not too surprised though.

"Dazai why would you have me read that?" I asked after Kunikida had beaten him down. "Well because you like him of course!" I felt my cheeks heat up a bit at his comment. "Yeah well I don't reach half of his 'ideals' so it's pointless," I sighed. "I think maybe you should give it a shot. Kunikida might give you a chance. You guys do get along decently well after all." I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know." "Come on when he gets back here you should totally confess!" Dazai encouraged. "I mean you're right, what's the harm in trying right?" I said and stood up. Dazai gave me a slight shove forward as Kunikida walked back in. Gaining all the confidence I could I walked up to him.

"K-kunikida I need to tell you something," I started. "Uh sure but can you make it a little quick please." I hesitated for a minute before talking again. "Look I know I don't qualify for most of your ideals in a woman, but I still really like you and think that I can be the best I can be for you. Would you please give me a chance?" I looked up at him to see him a little shocked, as well as the other members who also had shocked expressions. "(Y/N) look I can't accept. My ideals mean everything to me and like you said you don't reach most of them. How could I date such an unideal woman? That's just preposterous! You'd be better off with some loser like Dazai! I can't believe you'd even bother when you what the answer would-" SMACK. An echo went through the Agency and a red mark was now on Kunikida's face. "So I'm unideal? Look I knew you would probably say no, but thanks for being an even bigger dick about it," I said before walking back to my desk. The others all frowned at Kunikida, who was still shocked about getting smacked, and looked over at me. Even Dazai looked upset about it. 

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The next hour was awkward for everyone, considering they all experienced what had happened, and despite using every nerve to not cry I couldn't help it. The tears started falling and I laid my head on my desk. I ended up falling asleep from crying so much and was woken up by someone a little later. 

"(Y/N) get up, the president is sending us out on a mission." I sat up and looked at the man who made me feel like shit. As soon as he saw my face I could tell he was feeling guilt. Looking over to a small mirror on my desk I saw my hair was frizzy, my eyes were red and swollen, and I still had tear stains on my face. "I need to run to the bathroom then we can go," I said avoiding eye contact while walking there. I quickly fixed myself up and met up with Kunikida at the elevators.

"So what's the mission," I bluntly asked. I was still very upset. "There's some gang bombers out at the abandoned warehouses and the boss wants you and me to shut it down. Our abilities are compatible after all." He wasn't wrong about this. My ability was 'Follow My Every Command'. I could mind control up to three people at once, and with his 'Doppo Poetry' he could easily shut down things.

"If you can sneak up and get a few enemies under your control I can go defuse the bomb. Does that sound good?" he asked when we got to the warehouses. "Sure whatever." He always just had to take control, but this time I'd be the heroine on my own. A personal grudge shouldn't get in the way of a job, but sometimes I was just selfish, unlike his 'ideal woman' would be. He was talking to himself and not paying attention so I went in to find the gang on my own.