Blue Ribbon

Chapter 28 - Better be prepared than pregnant

"I never had to force love. I was drowning in it the moment we met."

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Zack's POV

My fingers tightened over the ticket in my hand, my eyes tracing the time written in big bold numbers, my brain calculating how much time I have left, wondering if there is one place I can stop by before leaving for good.

My gaze flickered from the piece of paper to my uncle, "Your mother also agreed to this," He said, the muscle of his jaw worked as his eyes drifted away, as if he couldn't stand to be here now, looking at me, talking to me.

"Your bad grades, the drugs, and everything that happened was enough for the school to kick you out," He clarified, and I understood, our Ivy league school won't accept someone like me trashing its reputation, "You'll stay with your aunt in Texas, your papers are already transferred to a school there," He added, totally unbothered, "I am not sure if you will be able to graduate this year, and you already know that you lost the football scholarship for university, so whatever you're gonna do, it's all up to you from now on."

The way he talked was like he didn't care, whatever I am going to do next, is up to me only and he washed his hands from anything that includes me.

Isn't that what I always wanted?

Then, then why does it hurt?

"And worry not, I closed your account, you won't be taking any money from me anymore, just like you wanted," He added, hostility radiating from him in waves, "You can find a job, something that can help you there, anything because your aunt can barely look after herself, let alone you too." He was right, aunt Sylvia, my father's sister was almost fifty years old by now, living off her late husband's death gratuity.

My hand tightened over the paper and I let my eyes fall on him, I gathered whatever courage I had in me to be able to mutter the next words without my voice shaking, "Anything else?"

He shook his head and harshly let out, "Just stay away from my son and never let me see your face again, that's all."

That's something I have to break one last time. Was it the rebel in me, or the boy who deep down still cared for his cousin, I couldn't decide which was which at the moment, but I need to see him before I leave.

Air harshly pushed out of his chest and he was about to turn and walk away from me but something stopped him, he shook his head, his tone bewildered as he muttered, "Just why?" He asked, "I still don't understand, why?!" He shook his head, "Tell me why? What was the point? You had everything!"

I calmly shook my head, "Not everything."

His eyebrows pulled closer and he stepped forward, "Then, what is it?" He snapped, "What is it that you want?"

"I just want my dad," I let the words tumble out, reflecting every weak feeling wrapping over my chest.

True, I took everything in my life for granted; him, his care, his money, and even his son. But all of that could never fix me.

My words only doubled his confusion, and lines etched at his forehead, "I tried Zack, I tried to not let you feel his absence, but-" I shook my head, stopping him, "It's not the same, okay, it is not," My voice took a higher tone, angry, but not at him, mostly at life, "Everyone thinks I don't remember, but I do, I remember everything, for god's sake, I saw him die, right in front of my own eyes!" I saw how every day that fucking cancer was eating him up from the inside, "I was sitting right there beside him when it happened," There was that stupid liquid dripping from my eyes as I talked, it went down my cheeks, "I tried to wake him up, thinking he was just sleeping, I was the only one there!"