Blue Ribbon

PART TWO

"Life went on, But it was never the same again."

Five years later...

Lilly's POV

I can handle a lot of things in this life.

I can handle almost everything.

I can handle the truth.

It's the lies that kill me.

I think to myself as I raise the handbag, trying to squeeze it into the overhead compartment. I push harder, and harder but it doesn't slide inside.

I grit my teeth and just think.

Lies.

So. Many. Fucking. Lies.

Dizziness swarms my vision as I put whatever energy I have left into pushing the stupid bag. I groan in annoyance and I just want to scream, every nerve in my body is crying out loud, in pain, in fatigue, and in betrayal.

"Here, ma'am, let me help you," The stewardess says and I let him take care of it as I slide into my seat. Sitting down doesn't do me any good either. The tightness inside my stomach only increases with every passing second, I just want to throw up.

I would've, but having not eaten anything for the past two days isn't helping at all.

I open the front camera of my phone and stare at my reflection. I almost wince at the sight that welcomes me. My face is so pale, I look like a ghost. My lips that are usually pink, now look just as white as my face. My hair pulled up in a messy bun, hiding the fact that it hasn't been showered.

I look like a mess.

A total mess.

I try to breathe, in and out, in and out through the fluctuation I can feel my blood pressure is going through. No sleep, no food, I am just seconds away from unfolding in the middle of the damn plane.

I lean against the small window and I let my eyes close for a second, I let them rest but I fail almost immediately. Behind my closed eyelids, I just see the nightmare I am desperately trying to escape from.

My fingers curl into the inside of my palm and I try to grasp into whatever control I have left in me. Breathe Lilly, breathe. My chest aches, my heart aches. A sound almost like a whimper escapes my throat and I press a hand over my mouth, stopping myself.

How did my life turn upside down in only a matter of two days?

I get so lost in my thoughts that the only thing that pulls me out is the sound of a man's voice speaking through the plane, announcing that we are about to take-off, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, welcome to flight number..." And I block the rest of his words by placing the airpods to my ear, I defy the laws of flying by playing some music that could calm down my nerves and make this eleven-hour flight a bit more bearable.

Three hours in, and finally my body gives up the fight and sinks into a much-needed sleep. My eyes close, and I listen to the sound of my heart beating very slowly, one beat at a time, till finally, utter darkness consumes me.