Blue Ribbon

Chapter 20 - Don't give me hope

So, according to the votes on my wall, almost everyone sacrificed Roman and Lilly, lol let's say RIP to them xD

Meanwhile;
Emma: *sharps her knives* dare and touch my husband!
Nik and Alex: *loading their guns* who the hell is after our daughter?

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"You were a beautiful time in my life, and if that's all you'll ever be, then that's okay. Not all art is destined to hang on the same wall forver."

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Chase's POV

It felt wrong.

So wrong. To be here.

I know I shouldn't. Yes, Aylin and I aren't together at the moment, but she is waiting for me. My decision hasn't changed since we last talked, but she is still waiting and hoping.

This felt like a betrayal, because I would be a fool to ignore the way my heart started beating when I saw Lilly holding onto the ribbon so tightly; when I heard her mumble my name in her sleep. The walls I built were slowly tumbling down, the muscle behind it was aching for her; her smile, her smell, and her touch.

Her eyes were still closed, deep in her sleep and unaware of my presence. I could just leave now, walk away, I could not complicate things, but...I couldn't move a damn muscle, locked in a trance. I couldn't wrap my mind around everything I was feeling. The tightness pressing over my chest only intensified the longer I gazed down at her.

I was happy before, or so I thought. At least, I had things under my control and a part of me, the smart logical one, he wishes she never came back. Because the second she passed out in my arms at the airport, was the moment I lost the strains that were keeping me intact.

And here I am, back to ground zero. Back to the very start, helplessly craving things I shouldn't have, things I wouldn't allow myself to have.

Lilly and I will always be a losing battle. We never worked, we never will again. We tried, and each time, someone had to fuck things up, was it me or her...our story will always be half-lived. My belief and trust in us are shaken to the core, and that's not something we can't just look past.

But that doesn't stop me from wondering if it's ever possible to just forget and start over. Can I forget? Can she? Can we erase all the bad and start anew? This new her, this new me, can they click as the old ones did, can they be more mature, more responsible, can they handle and carry such a relationship, the right way?

Too many unanswered questions roamed my brain, too many possibilities. I tried not to think more, not to imagine, I tried not to hope as my hand went to her face, my thumb brushed the warm skin of her cheek, the need to feel her more prominent than every insecurity I have about us.

I sucked into a deep breath, and Lilly blinked, her eyelids opening halfway, "Chase," She mumbled, her voice barely audible, her consciousness half here, and half still lost in her dreams.

"Yeah," I said, and her eyes closed a bit before she opened them again, she blinked, her hazy gaze on my face, "Sleep here," She urged, lazily patting on the pillow beside her.

I smiled at her sleepy state, I bet she wasn't aware of what she was saying or doing, everything was still too foggy for her. I did by her demand and laid down on the empty space by her side. She didn't hesitate, she immediately inched closer, taking comfort over my chest and I wrapped an arm around her back, seeking that same comfort.