Blue Ribbon

Chapter 15 - Living proof of your mistakes

"Of all the people I used to be,
I miss the one that you loved, the most."

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Alex's POV

Max's shocked eyes stayed focused ahead, he didn't blink, he didn't move; a green storm raged in his gaze as he tried to think, to understand. He froze in the spot, and his chest heaved as he drank in the feedback of this new information.

His fingers over my arm twitched, they shook under the impact of everything happening. My chest tightened and I could imagine how he must be feeling, so lost and uncertain. I hated this and everything about it. How wasn't I able to keep this part of our life tucked away from him?

Nikolas left, he stayed far away, just so this won't happen. Just so no one would ever connect the dots and figure out which blood was surging through Max's veins. True, it wasn't my blood, but he was still mine. Mine to take care of, mine to protect, mine to help...help him get through this without it leaving a scar.

I placed my other hand over his, it felt so cold now, shaking, and I squeezed, bringing him back to me as I called his name, "Max," I mumbled and his throat bobbed. His troubled eyes drifted from Nikolas, who was still sleeping under the effect of the drug, and they fell to the ground.

He was breathing fast, fighting an inner battle and redness rushed all over the side of his neck; his skin pale and involuntary reflecting every feeling he's having.

"I want to go back to my room," He mumbled, his tone neutral, and he didn't look at my side as he turned his body around, his hand still over my arm, trying to balance himself through the pain the surgery left behind and the shock this new just caused.

"Okay, let's go back," I said, and followed him. My eyes went to Nikolas one last time before I closed the door and helped Max get back to his room. He kept silent. No words made it out of his mouth. His gaze still so uncertain, like a little kid lost in a big maze, trying to decide which way to take; should he just take the exit or stay despite the danger and discover what's inside this web of secrets and lies.

His jaw tightened in pain as I helped him climb up the bed, he rested his back against the pillow and threw his head back, his eyes closed as he kept thinking, unable to make up his mind as to which direction he should head to next.

"I just didn't want to lie to you any longer," I said, explaining why I had to make him see Nikolas.

His eyelids glided open and he looked back at me, and in his eyes, I saw how over the past weeks, he aged more than he should've, from the moment he learned about the truth up till now.

"It's his...the kidn...I mean he is the, he is the kidney donor, isn't he?" He tried to say, his thoughts so jumbled and unable to make up one normal sentence.

I nodded, "When you first got in here, I called him," I explained, "And when the doctor suggested the kidney transplant, he and Cara were the ones with the highest possibility for a match," I hated to say the sentence out loud, because it felt like a biological barrier between me and him.

He nodded, in understandment, "Why?" He asked and rubbed a hand over his throat, "Why did you call him?"

I felt out of words, I didn't know how to explain that Nikolas knew almost everything about him. He raked his fingers through his hair, "I mean, when you first told us about him, I sensed how much you cared for him, so are you two still...close?"

I nodded, "Yeah, in a way, we are."

He gulped down and lines etched between his eyebrows, "How?"