A Dream I Used To LOVE

Chapter 14

I ran towards her to take her in my embrace. She returned a cold hug and immediately questioned my absence from home. Her expression made it amply clear that she was agitated.

"Where were you last night?" she inquired sternly.
Just when I was about to answer Chris came in.
She saw him and gave me a look as if saying 'of course you were with him'.
"Chris so nice to see you. How have you been?" she spoke politely which came as a surprise to me. I thought she would scream at both of us, particularly me for my reckless behavior.

"All good Mrs. Martin. I just came to drop her. I'll get going now." He moved towards me as if trying to hug me, soon he left. I was sure today the roof was about to fall on me.
"What do you think you are doing? You were out all night, have you lost your mind?"
Before I could counter her she started talking some more. 

"I never knew you would be this responsible. I came to surprise you, but indeed you gave me a shock. I waited all night. I called you so many times, I kept messaging you. I was so worried"
"Mother I'm sorry my phone died. I should have informed you. This won't happen again."
"Of course it won't. I forbid you from seeing him again" she screamed

"What? No" I am an adult she can't control my life all the time.
"Audrey if you don't listen to me I'll take you with me to New York"
"What? I have my life here, you can't just uproot me according to your convenience. You already did that to me when I was a child, but now I wouldn't accept this treatment."

When I was 4 they left me with my Nana, they had a lot on their plate and I wasn't particularly an easy child. I didn't cry when they 'abandoned me' instead I happily adapted according to my grandmother. She always told me I was the smartest, sweetest child she had ever known. She never complained once while taking care of me and after a few years I grew so fond of them that I didn't want to ever go back to my parents. 

But Nana was growing old and she knew she wouldn't be able to take good care of me forever. Knowing the circumstances she asked my parents during their annual visit till when they would be tossing me around. My mother wasn't happy with the way my Grandmother accused her and so she decided to take me back with her. 

Nana loved me more than I thought anybody could. They uprooted me yet again. I was happy there, I wanted to live with her. I was 10 and perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I fought back unable to accept the fact that I wouldn't be living with Nana anymore. 'Dada' as I called my grandfather died even before I was born so it was just gammy and I for the past few years. I couldn't leave her alone, she was old and she needed me. My parents promised me that I would meet her every weekend and so after a lot of tantrums, I was left with no choice but to leave. 

I felt her hand on my face. The slap was hard and ruthless.
"You cannot talk to me like that. I refuse to tolerate this behavior."
In all honestly, it was me who was tolerating her rude and unforgiving behavior.
I wanted to cry, but there was no way I would let her know that.
"Mother, as much as I respect your decision, I have my own mind and the right to decide for myself. You can't force me"
"Audrey, you were out all night, without informing your guardian and you have the audacity to tell me you won't listen to me. You are grounded for a week. I expect you to behave. You aren't four anymore."

At this point, I wanted to tell her, that she hadn't even been there in my life when I was young. I wanted to cry out loud, I felt smothered. I didn't reply, I just walked towards my room.
I locked my room and sat on my bed. I inhaled trying to control the tears from falling.


'I felt controlled. My parents always keep complaining. Whenever I fight with my mother all she says it "You are just like your grandmother. Extremely stubborn". Of course, I am like her. I lived with her all my childhood while you abandoned me. They are never satisfied with anything I do. All they can see are my flaws. I'm not stupid, I know what to do with my life. Chris is genuinely nice and I want to be with him. I'm 16 for god sake. I can decide for myself. I want to run away from'