A Dream I Used To LOVE

Chapter 21

Audrey immediately turned her back towards me "Addie what happened?". I wondered what was wrong.

"I'm not ready," she said still not looking at me "and that's fine. We won't do anything till the time you aren't ready" I didn't want her to feel pressured because of me. She picked up her clothes and put them back on.

She still didn't turn towards me and so I hugged her from behind. I held onto her tightly not wanting to leave and she, in turn, held onto me tightly. I rested my head on her shoulder and she laughed a little.

"Does that tickle?" I asked tickling her again and she flinched and laughed, even more, this time. She tried tickling me back but I held onto her hand preventing her to do so. Finally, after laughing and trying to tickle me back for long she gave up "You win" she said breathing heavily "Oh god, my stomach hurts" and I let go.

I walked towards the bathroom and took a quick shower while she lay in bed tired after wrestling with me. After she came back from her bath and got dressed she decided that she could catch me off guard and so she came charging at me. I caught her and we both fell on the floor. She started laughing as if she had just won against me. She immediately got up and helped me get up as well. We both sat on the bed laughing some more.

We had both had a tiring day and it was pretty evident. We lay in bed her head on my arm. She hugged me tightly and fell asleep almost immediately. I put a blanket on her and hugged her back "Thank you for the best birthday ever. I never knew somebody could make me this happy" I held onto her kissed her on the forehead and soon even I fell asleep.

It was around 2 in the morning when I heard a muffled scream. I immediately got up and there she was sitting up, sweating profusely.

"Audrey, what happened?" I got up rubbing her back hoping that it would help soothe her.

"Nothing. Just a nightmare"

I pulled her back, "Come and sleep next to me. It will be fine" and I hoped I could take the nightmare away.

She did abide still looking a bit worried. I snuggled her in. 

The next morning we drove back to her house. Although I had gone inside her room before I never noticed a lot of things that were kept in her room. She had a wall filled with her and Nana's pictures, a few with her parents and Mia. She had many pictures with her friends and her dog. 

I saw a picture of us also. It was from the dance "What is this wall?" I was intrigued by all the marvelous photos.

"These are all the precious moments of my life. I started sticking pictures after Nana's death so that one day when my memories go I can look at these pictures and probably remember something" she laughed and I smiled at her wishing that I could change things in her life.

I held her hand and sat next to her "Who gave you that ring?". Audrey always wore this ring on her ring finger, it was engraved but I couldn't understand what it said.

"It was my Nana's. She gave it to me and I've been wearing it ever since" she said admiring the ring.

"What does it say?" 

"'I will always love you' and she did" I cupped her face and she held onto my hand resting her face on it.

"What would you do without me?" she asked laughing at me while I was completely in awe of her. "I shudder to think" and I unlike her answered seriously.

"Now go and let me get some work done before Meryl gets angry again" and I knew she was scared of where our relationship was going. She had still not gotten over the fact that Nana was no more and her parents as nice as they were didn't understand her the way she wanted to be understood. When people close to you hurt you unintentionally you start believing that you are the one at fault. I had been there and it took me years to outgrow the fear of being abandoned I could understand her hesitation and I was ready to wait for her as long as it took. 

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"Chris where have you been?" Mrs. Scott stood there in front of me her hands crossed indicating that she was very agitated.

"I called you so many times and you..." she felt hurt. "I'm not answerable to you" I countered "You have never been bothered about how I was and now that I am finally happy you decide to interfere and cause havoc in my life" 

"Chris" she raised her voice at me, she had never screamed at me before then she immediately broke into tears.

"I... have always been bothered and... your father wasn't the man he thought he was..."

"You don't have the right to talk about him, you walked away from this family, not him" she left Tyler when he wasn't even a few years old and now she had the audacity to tell me she cared.

"Chris... I don't want to argue with you. Your father left a letter with me and I promised to give it to you on your 18th birthday. I've kept it in your room" and even before I could counter her or ask her anything she walked away.

I ran to my room and saw a letter placed on my bed, it was addressed to me.

'Dear Christian,
Happy Birthday my son. I have loved you with all my life. I had lived with a guilty conscience almost all my life and now it is time I tell you something you deserved to know a long time back. I am not the man you think I am. I am far from being a good father, or a good husband in fact I haven't even been a good human. I had been unfaithful to my wife. While she was struggling to handle things at home and make ends meet I gave up on our relationship. We started fighting often and I was flabbergasted. I didn't know what to do and so I went to Emilia to seek comfort, without realizing we fell for each other. She was pregnant with my baby and I couldn't ask her to abort. She wanted you in her life and so did I. For 5 years I kept you apart from myself and I am sincerely sorry for that. You were my son and I never acknowledged that. Your mother was struggling with everything and I turned a blind eye towards that. I thought that if I ignored her maybe I could move on with my life, but alas her untimely death brought you closer to me. Mariana left because of me. She couldn't bare to live in the same house as me, believe me she tried for years and I wouldn't blame her for anything that happened. It all happened because of me, I was unfaithful and I could never forgive myself for that, but I hope one day you forgive me. Forgive her as well for leaving her kids and her whole family behind, it was I who had caused all the havoc and I couldn't lie to her anymore. My last wish is for you and your siblings to make amends with Mariana. She is a gentle soul, but it takes time for anybody who has been hurt previously to let people in. I never had the guts to tell you on your face please forgive me, son.'

I froze reading that letter. Why did he do that? This can't be true. He broke a beautiful family, I broke a beautiful family. The letter fell from my hand and I felt my vision blurring.