A Dream I Used To LOVE

Chapter 16

We were at Trish's house, it wasn't as big as Chris's but it was a beautiful house. She was a year older than Chris, and her college friends didn't give off any friendly vibes.
Thankfully Chris was by my side. His hand was on my waist as we walked through the crowd. I never enjoyed parties but I knew eventually I would have to attend them.

Trish came and hugged Chris, and gave me a cold smile. Chris excused himself and went to get us some drinks. I stood there smiling awkwardly at her while she looked annoyed by my presence. 

"Oh, hi it's you, Andrea right?"
"Audrey" I stated and she smirked.
"It's so good to see you here, I didn't think you would come. I mean college kids can be intimidating"
"Not really, everybody here is just drunk, I think people need to be in their senses to intimidate me"
She didn't seem amused by my remark. She just walked away. There I stood all alone in a house filled with college students, out of their minds. Some were smoking the others were either making out or getting slashed.

I walked towards the backyard, the smoke was giving me a headache. As I looked around examining my surrounding I thought I saw Kevin. I moved towards him, and my doubt had now turned into a reality. It was Kevin, but he wasn't with Kathy, at least the one I knew.
He was with a college guy, heavy built. They were making out. Without realizing I interrupted them. Kevin immediately recognized me and said"Hi Audrey, this is Kaiden"

I said hello and left. I didn't know if I should tell Rose about this. While contemplating the vicarious scenario, Chris walked back with the drinks. He leaned over and whispered something in my ear. It was too noisy to hear him clearly.
"Let's go outside and sit near the bonfire"
He held my hand and guided me through the crowd.
The bonfire was surrounded by couples, there were all types of couples there. I didn't feel very comfortable being surrounded by all these strangers.

There was a spot unoccupied near a couple whole needed to get a room and I hated that spot already. We sat beside them. The girl was on the other girls' lap and her clothes were everywhere. Within a minute her tang top came flying and landed on my face.
This party couldn't get any worse.
Chris' spellbound laugher was the only relief.
"Hi, I'm Ray"I turned behind to look.
I saw a tall and attractive guy standing behind me. Before I could reply he came and sat next to me. 

"Wow, so Chris wasn't joking when he said he was dating somebody"
How did he know who I was?
I felt uncomfortable with all the eyes that were on me. I felt like I was a showpiece in a museum.
I wanted to take things slow. I just wished Chris asked me before telling everybody about us. 

"I didn't know you were this beautiful" he stated looking right at me. I immediately felt Chris's hand around my shoulder. "Leave her alone Ray" Chris glared at the guy.

"Don't worry I won't take her away from you" he chuckled. I could see Chris's hand being drawn in a fist. I looked at him and held his hand tightly. "Ray I'm sure there are plenty other girls you can flirt with" and that was an indication for him to leave. I could understand that Chris was uncomfortable and I never wanted him to feel that way because of me. 

He smiled at me then leaned forward and kissed me. "Don't worry. I'll shoo them all away" 

I knew how feeling insecure about somebody you liked felt like, I had grown up feeling that way. First with my parents, then my grandmother and a part of me did feel insecure around Chris as well. I felt inadequate and that one day they would all leave me. I could hear these words resonating in my ears 'Nobody will ever love you, they will all leave you and go'. I shuddered thinking about that.

It was already 8 and I wasn't able to leave. 

"Chris I need to leave, I'll see you later"
I got up and started walking away, Chris followed me, he was a bit drunk. He pulled me by my wrist and kissed me. 

"Let me accompany you, I don't want you to leave me alone with these people"
I laughed at his antics. He looked adorable when he was drunk. "You stay here and have fun with them, I don't want them to think that I'm taking you away"

"Audrey Martin, are you leaving me alone with all these beautiful girls? What if something happens to me" he said covering himself as if somebody was trying to pull his shirt off. 

"Bye, I love you" and I immediately regretted saying that. Why did I say that? Did I love him? He just laughed at me, I wonder if he heard me.

He came closer cupping my face, as he looked into my eyes. "I have never met anybody like you"

What did that mean? Was that a compliment? "Bye drive safely" and as I walked away I saw Trish trying to pull him closer to herself. I felt very insecure but I trusted him, I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. 

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I drove to Rose's house regretting what I had just said. "What is wrong with me?"

I ran her doorbell and while waiting for her to open the door I saw a message from an unknown number. 

It was a video of Trish sitting on Chris's lap. By the looks of it, she was trying to kiss him and everybody around them were laughing, even Chris. I wondered what was going on. Suddenly Rose opened the door and I hid the phone. She was already upset and I didn't want her to worry about this inconsequential situation. She was really looking forward to the stayover. I didn't want to spoil it for her. She had already had enough. I decided to forget about it and worry later. What were they doing? I judged myself for liking a guy like him. 

When she opened the door I greeted her with a smile. She hugged me enthusiastically.
When we walked up to her room, Rose had already set up the area. There were popcorn and blankets. When I turned towards the TV I saw she had put on Dirty Dancing. This was the same movie I saw with Chris that night. I wanted to cry out loud, remembering that day and then I wondered who sent that video and what they were doing?

I told rose about Kevin and Kaiden. She felt much better after knowing everything. I comfortably skipped that part between Chris and me. I saw the movie reminiscing the moments I spent with Chris. I kept fidgeting.

"Audrey, is something troubling you? I guess it's time you tell me" 

I tried to pull off a fake smile "Rose it's 2 in the morning, I'm just sleepy. Now let me sleep"
Somehow Rose didn't buy what I just said.
"Audrey, I know you better than you think I do. Whenever something troubles you, you fidget"
I knew I had to come clean to Rose.
"At the party, Chris was really drunk. After I left I got a message from an unknown number. It was a video of Trisha sitting on Chris... I don't know what I should comprehend..."
Rose jumped up and hugged me tightly. She didn't let me complete.
"Don't worry. I'm with you throughout. I love you. All will be fine" 

I felt insecure but Rose always tried to ensure that she didn't make me feel that way.
We spent the night chatting and sharing our deepest darkest emotions at that moment I couldn't appreciate her more. 
"Audrey, I never said it out loud, but you are one of my closest friends. Thanks for coming and I'm sorry for being selfish I know you're going through a lot"
Rose was a gem. Even though she had problems of her own she prioritized mine.
I couldn't control the tears. I hugged her.
"You are never selfish. I love you. Thank you for always having my back. I never knew within a few months we would get this close..."
She honestly was very supportive. She had become family.
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The next day at school I decided it would be better if I didn't talk to Chris but he held my hand and pulled me into an empty corridor.
"Audrey can we please talk"

"Chris, please let's not," I said trying to get rid of him.
" I was drunk and insecure"
"Insecure why? I was right beside you the whole time"
"When you left I was very drunk and she tried to kiss me but I pushed her away"
"Chris, I don't care what anybody did but it is hard for me to trust you and I don't think we should see each other anymore"
I walked away without letting him complete. it was hard but necessary. I couldn't keep up with him.
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That week I ignored Chris and it was harder than I thought. His mere presence made my heart beat faster. He looked very disturbed and I wondered why.

Unexpectadly I got a text from Kathy

"Hi, Audrey.
Please come home Chris is acting crazy, said something about you.
Please come urgently"