A Dream I Used To LOVE

Chapter 34

Chris POV

"Mariana" I stood outside her room while she sat there carefree as if she hadn't done anything.

"Come in Chris," she said in a chirpy voice which was unusual "Sit" but I reluctantly stood away from her.

"Why did you do that to Audrey?"

"Darling, I didn't do anything," she said in a mocking tone "Her father is as stupid as she is" she chuckled and it was then that I wondered how Dad said she was a good person.

"Let me put this as clearly as I can, Mariana. You haven't been around for many years and I am the reason your kids are remotely pally with you so if you don't want any trouble for yourself then never in your life think about hurting the people important to me"

I walked away knowing that she wouldn't let go of this easily but I was ready to risk it. 

Within the next few hours, she made a few calls and the deal was finalized. At dinner, no one spoke and I was treated with cold and threatening looks but I didn't care. This wasn't the first time I was treated by her this way and it surely wasn't the last. 

After dinner, I sat in my room going through my gallery when I saw her photos, the one I took on the beach on our first date and looking at that I missed her more than I have ever missed anyone. Dad often told me that when the thought of losing someone or something scares you then you should realize how important they might actually be to you, and sitting alone in my room I could only think about the fact that maybe my life wouldn't have been the way it was if I hadn't met her. She made me believe in myself and love which was evidently very hard for me.

I immediately texted her 

'Surely I would like to justify myself. I was blissfully unaware of the fact that Mariana had anything to do with your father's deal. All this while she said it was an investment that would lead her into bankruptcy. 

I would never do anything to hurt you. I love you with every bit of my heart. You mean more to me than anybody else. 

Talk to me that's the least you can do for me.

I've made it clear to Mariana that if she ever meddled around with you or your family she would face consequences. You are a part of my family, Audrey. I love you and I can go to any extent for you.

I just hope that you understand and give us another chance.'

Audrey POV

While everybody partied outside I sat in my room reading the message Chris had sent. While I was happy for Papa, I also knew that this would happen again and after a while, Chris wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

This relationship felt like a war where someone was bound to win as if Mariana has too much control over my relationship and I knew that she would be the reason this relationship crumbles.

"Addie come and join us" Sam called me, rather she pulled me and I reluctantly joined her.

Sam my wild child was having the time of her life and watching her enjoy made me wonder when I stopped enjoying my life. Love shouldn't be such hard work.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year" people screamed and I stood there looking at how happy everybody looked.

Mom and Dad came and hugged me followed by Sam but I really missed Chris. I just wasn't ready to accept it.

For the past few days, I kept dreaming about Chris but that night I dreamt about him again and with every passing day the dreams troubled me more and more.

I woke up in the middle of the night horrified. I had dreamt about Chris once again. I was sweating profusely, it had been a week since I had last seen him, and every night when I went to bed he came into my dream. Mama had come to fetch some water when she saw me sitting up in the middle of the night. She came in to check on me "Ma I had a nightmare"

She came and took me in her embrace. "Breath Addie all is fine". I lay my head on her lap while she gently caressed my hair, her presence felt like an oracle. She was my only comfort at this point.

"You know when I would get nightmares your Nana would recite this poem to me"

I looked up at Mama wondering what she had nightmares about. "You had nightmares?"

"Of course I did" and she understood I wanted to know more about them "My father died when I was very young and I had a constant fear that people close to me will be taken away from me one by one. I didn't tell your Nana about these nightmares because she was struggling herself after Papa's death."

"I was sixteen back then I guess and I had lost a very close friend in a car accident, which further heightened the insecurity. The close friend was actually my first love and his death came as a shock to me. Initially, I didn't tell anybody about these feelings and emotions. I always thought that they would go away with time but it had been a few months after his death and I would still see him in my dreams. I was bewildered. So one night when she found out she came into my room" mother paused "and recited a poem which is very close to my heart"

I always thought Mama and Nana didn't share much with each other but their relationship just like mine was more complex may be beyond my understanding.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; ---- I lift my lid and all is born again.----(I think maybe I made you up in my head)----I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed---- And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.----(I think maybe I made you up in my head)"

She recited the whole poem and I instantly understood why that was Nana's favorite. Nana told me nobody except me should have control over my emotions, feelings, and mind and she was correct. I made him up in my head, a perfect version, one that wouldn't hurt me but life didn't work according to my whims and fancies. It was anything but a perfect dream.

"Addie and then do you know what happened. Paul came along and I don't want to give you false hope and say you will find someone perfect for you because one thing I loved about your Nana was how straightforward she was. You might or might not find someone you love but the people you already love will always be there. Nana didn't leave after she died. I can still feel her comforting me when I'm distressed because she truly loved me and she loves you and so baby all will be alright. Let time pass by and you will be fine"

I never expected to hear my mother say that to me but it sure did make me feel better.