Saviours (Daryl Dixon)

32. Negan

A soon as we got back Daryl rushed eugene into the clinic and I went off to start digging Dennis grave.

I think the saddest bit about it all is that people looked but didn't stop to ask the name, like they have grown used to the death.
Some kids ran past playing tig that slowly died down in respect once seeing me.
It took three hours to dig the grave by myself and by then I got word that eugene is fine.
Some people wanted to see the body so I gave them time.

Come afternoon Daryl and another man come wondering out with the body.
Slowly they lower her without a word and I start to cover it over.
"Go rest, I've got this" Daryl's says grabbing my shovel.
"No im good. You should go grab us some drinks, if you want to that is" I say and he nods walking off.
I lean down and say a quick apology before seeing a figure in the corner of my eye.
"You scared me" I say jumping up as Daryl hands me a bottle.
"Here" he says as I take a sip and handing it to Daryl.

"Take some more" he urges.
"Don't need more" I say going back to work.
He snorts and throws it to the ground before grabbing another shovel.
"Mom!" Rose screams running around the corner.

"Hey angel" I say picking her up.
"Morgan's looking for you" she says smiling.
"And there was me thinking you wanted to spend time with me" I joke as I put her down.
"I'll go tell Morgan your here" she says running off.
"Fuck it. Rose!" I shout running after her.
"Yes?" She says coming to a stop.
"I'm sorry we haven't had much time to hangout lately. But I want to give you this" I say handing her my sisters necklace.
"It's beautiful!" She shouts.
"It belonged to someone I loved very dearly. But if you wear it you have to promise to keep it hidden under your cloths" I say and she nods.

Carefully I put it on and she smiles putting it under her lilac vest top.
"Thank you mom!" She shouts hugging me.
"It's alright angel" I whisper as she runs off to Morgan again.
"What was that?" Daryl asks as I make it back.
"Nothing to worry about" I answer with a smile.

"No. You've been distant since we got back, you ain't eaten and barely drank" he says grabbing the shovel from me and throwing it.
"Just not hungry" I mumble as I go to grab my shovel. Only for a hand to stop me.
"No we talk now. Spill it!" He shouts.

"What do you want to hear?! It's my fault that Dennis died? That I feel like a monster for half for the stuff I do?! That I'm weak for being used as leverage not once but twice against you in a single week?! That theirs gonna be a war and I don't know if I'm strong enough to protect the ones I love? Or even if they still love me?" I shout getting quieter.

"Cause let's be honest you don't wanna hear all that. Because I'm ment to be happy and sarcastic and act as if the world can't bring me down, but it does" I continue.
"Non of that's true. It's all in ya head" he says.
"Really? Just in my head?" I ask walking to grab my shovel.

"Yeah! Your just scared, everyone is. But we need to save the ones that can't save themselves" he explains.
"How can I do that when I can't even save myself, Daryl? When I step out the gate to find food and one of us dies?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Dennis wasn't you fault" he says and I shake my head.
"I saw Dwight aiming at you and I got scared. I pretended to trip so he would miss but it hit her instead. It's my fault" I break down as tears flood my face.
"He said the cross-"
"He said the bitch has a kick" I repeat his words as I wipe my tears off.

"It's my fault she's gone and that we don't have a doctor anymore. I'm upset about one of us being gone and yet I gunned down at least four of them without a second thought about who they love and why they attacked in the first place. A-and I think the worest bit is the fact I'm gonna have to do it again. With no emotions, to save the ones I love" I explain and he drops his shovel and pulls me into a hug.