SSD III: Silver

73. Goodbye, Eraserhead

AN: Me? A day late? Nooooooo.

She didn't answer when they most recently asked her what she last remembered and answering wouldn't have helped anyone most of the time because none of them were part of her most recent memories anymore.

First it was a short time after Sanji died, when she wanted to run from her brother for hurting all of those children, but instead she had to sit there and talk like she didn't hate him for what he did because they were back to being teammates and she had to play the good soldier. But as she stared into his eyes with false kindness, she asked herself if Sanji and Moe might have lived if the escape plan had gone right and he'd escaped with her, if he'd been there to help her save them.

Then it was being so completely out of her depth as she took care of someone's literal baby when sure, she could handle kids, but a baby who couldn't even understand a word she said was something else entirely. Every single time that child started to wail, even for a second, her stomach felt like it was about to come out through her throat. But somebody had to keep that baby alive while its father got the help he needed. She hoped both of them were doing better now.

Trying to stop a desperate daughter from doing the deed herself had been interesting. It was the first time she'd seen just what power hatred truly had. Silver had almost had to forego her usual three chances because the child was so certain her mother didn't deserve a single one, and when she made that child an orphan, part of Silver was confused by how happy the thank you was.

Protecting an ammunitions store was as close to UA as her memory had ever taken her so far. Some jerkwads were threatening the owner and his daughter, and Silver was not at all accepting of such terrible behaviour. She'd made that as clear as possible to the attacker and his group of thugs. She'd promised the owner that he would never be bothered again, and to call her if anything did happen. He told her anything she needed from him was on the house. His daughter would never know the kind of trouble she'd been rescued from.

Finally, that big day arrived. Suddenly the teachers and students weren't strangers she'd known a few days, suddenly there were personalities behind the faces. She called Snipe 'Old Man' like she did before and loved how much he hated hearing that again after having peace for the last few days. She asked Kirishima about how far along he was in learning how to use a bo staff and picked up where she left off with Shinsou joining them; Keenan couldn't do anything to stop her.

And then she remembered being caught. She remembered Keenan helping her out. She remembered taking Janus Laboratories down.

She remembered Aizawa telling her not to come back. She didn't use her guns that day, wouldn't even carry her non-lethals. Aizawa asked her, and for a long time she'd stared at him because clearly something had happened to make him so willing to have her back, so she told him the truth. "My hands keep shaking, I think its psychosomatic-" They shook now like they did at the time, back when her friends at the club first started trying to stop her from getting blackout drunk everyday- "but it's too dangerous for me to use any kind of firearm until they stop." It was a plan that had worked before, so of course it would work now too.

Being taken again. Branded again. Dying and breathing again over and over.

Finally putting her bastard mother in prison. Yamada telling her stories to keep her entertained when she was stuck in that hospital bed. Freezing on that roof, "Hold on, Silver." Finally being honest with Aizawa and telling him how terrible he was at trying to teach Shinsou and Kirishima bo fighting. The single most terrible plan ever to be brought into existence. Chasing cats around the Aizawa-Yamada living room. Fukoda, her youngest student Fukoda, showing her his mysterious improvements with the bow and arrow that she didn't remember having any part of and that little smirk on her older brother's face, damn was she proud. Her and her brother's first birthday party. Getting ready for her first night of internship.