Don't Be Afraid BxB

9. Hands Of Pain

I got a little teary eyed writing this chapter. Jay is based of a real person who is my brother. Its hard writing about him. This chapter does have some parts that are real. Comment for next chapter, I love you all <3

Phoenix?", Jay whispered from the doorway I was crouching besides. I wish I never turned around. Seeing him inside, like this is something I would never wish on anyone to see. Seeing him wearing a prison jump suit struck me back into reality that he was really inside, this wasn't some sick joke. He was going to be here for a very long time. It's hard seeing someone you were so close to, someone you love to death and care for here. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I just wanted my parents to crack up laughing and tell me its all just one big prank. But he wasn't coming home with us, he needed to stay and pay for the things he did. I will always stick by his side and support him even if he keeps walking down the dark path he is so used to.

His appearance has changed allot, I couldn't believe it was really him. He looks so thin compared to what he was, his cheek bones suck out in a sickly way. He didn't look healthy, he had slight stubble from where he hasn't shaved properly in a good year or so. I felt his presence next to me and leaned back in his arms. I let more tears escape down my cheeks as I hugged him back, all the strength I've been holding back. The room around me turned to black as I closed my eyes to saviour this moment. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his shoulder.

****

I woke up as the thunder clapped outside my window bringing me from my dreams. A shiver ran down my spine as it made the window rattle. The rattle broke the deadly silence through my room making me shoot up straight out of bed in a panic. Thunder was my worst fear, it was coming to life as I was all alone in the middle of the night. "Mommy", I cried loudly hoping she would come and scoop me up, block out all the monsters in the sky. She never came. I cried louder into my four year old hands, lips trembling as I shook in my blanket wrapped around my shoulders. "Daddy!", I screamed choking on my sobs, body shivering.

I bit my lip in fear as I tiptoed out of my room into the dark hallway. "Mommy", I tried to call for her but my voice was sore from all the crying. I jumped once again as the storm roared from outside. I went running straight into my parents bedroom but to find an empty bed. I looked around in panic. "Phoenix?", a voice called from the doorway which sent me stumbling on my own feet. "Wheres Mommy?", I sniffled while wrapping my arms around his leg. "Whats wrong little man?", he frowned with concern as he picked me up rocking me in his arms soothingly.

I buried my face into his shoulder as the rain poured heavier. "Its only a little storm. Come on, i'll tuck you back into bed and i'll be there when you wake up", he patted my back going to my room. "It wont hurt you", he smiled sitting me by the window on his lap. I turned in his arms as he was starring out the window at the night sky. "Promise?", I sniffled wiping my nose with the back of my hand. "Promise", he smiled while I looked up at the clouds. "Not that scary anymore aye?", he chuckled as I gave him a toothy grin.

"You can face your fears, you can do anything you wish to be", he smiled while he pulled the blanket over us. "What do you want to be when you grow up?", he grinned pulling me closer as I snuggled into his arm. "Space man. I'm going to live on the moon with Mommy and Daddy. I want you to come to because your my best friend", I replied proudly. "Your my best friend too. One day we'll go to the moon", he pecked my forehead as I fell asleep into my dreams. All good things must come to an end.

****

I sat across my brother after I finally sat down with the rest. Alex sat by my side as he trailed his hand up and down my side for comfort. I sent him a warm smile, I'm really thankful. "So how have you been?", Mom asked. I gazed at the table as he went on to tell us in graphic detail about how he first arrived here. "I had to cup my balls while they took a closer look at me bent over. They were having a right good eyeful", he explained about how he was strip searched. I choked on my own spit as I let out a soft laugh, the first positive emotion i've shown so far. Alex let out a louder laugh as he continued. "Thats not the best part, they had me right over while he slapped on some gloves to get to the real searching-", he laughed until Mom cut him off.