a little something extra

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January 10th, 2021

hello everyone!

i actually have no idea why i am writing this but for some odd reason, some people are still reading this cringe piece of writing. i hope that everyone is doing well during this difficult time.

i'd say the start of 2020 was not too bad but it gradually got worse, especially towards the end. i hope that even though everyone had to make sacrifices, we were all able to adapt smoothly with the passing of time. i hope that everyone is healthy and not sick with the virus. and even if you did catch it, i hope that you will get better soon.

i've been trying to write more but i always delete and scrap it. with the lack of practice due to major major exams, i got really bad haha. this exam i took, hm, i'd say would be a pretty close equivalent to the SATs in USA and the GCSEs in UK. i wouldn't say exact but the significance of the exam i took was similar.

i am nervous. the results of the exam will be out tomorrow. i am afraid that i will not do well enough to continue my tertiary education as the exam i took can't really...get me a stable decent job.

idk i am just feeling really uneasy right now. haha, love how this suddenly became a diary i dont know if ppl will read lmaooo

anyway, that was not the real purpose of this. so here are some fun facts about this book and the bts of writing it.

FUN FACTS OF AIL:

1) The main character's name is Rose because I was extremely obsessed with roses. Hence the penpal name being, Rosey. cringe, i know.

2) I started writing AIL when I was thirteen years old. I was hoping to develop a writing style but idk actually. It changed like 9 different times throughout the book, I'm so sorry. You must've been confused quite often.

3) The Dolan Twins were pretty much the only people I properly "stanned".

4) I left the fandom because my education was more important and also because I was fourteen and they were nineteen and it was wishful thinking that I'd ever meet them in real life.

5) I had a fan account on Instagram. It's still up but I archived all of my posts.

6) The book was supposed to be longer but then I got tired of writing something I hated, writing a plot that was boring to me, writing a story that was insignicant to me. So, I cut it short. It could have easily gotten another 10 chapters and a happy ending but I was really upset with my work at the time so I just did what I felt was right for me. Sorry to those who are still upset about the ending :")

7) A few traits of Rose are reflective of what I think I would be if I was a serial killer. Obviously, it is quite hard to commit murder nowadays. The advancement in technology makes it really easy to catch criminals and find relevant evidences against criminals so yea, I would get caught in approximately 35 hours and 27 minutes because I overslept and missed my flight to flee the country I committed murder in. Rose was also quite emotional and totally not professional and that would be one of the traits I have since I do hold tight to emotional connections of people close to me.

8) I had to re-read what I wrote in the previous update before writing a new one because I always forgot what the context was.

9) Rose is kinda annoying. Like, why are you like that girl? Oh wait, I forgot. She kinda had trauma when she was younger...i think. im not sure anymore. I wrote that part like 3 years ago and i dont remember.

10) I wrote this to also became better at writing English essays. But it became useless in the end because the questions that would come out were cognitive questions that need some sort of debating and arguments and like, I hate essays. However, I became more dramatic in daily life. It annoys a number of people and my mum even said one time that she didn't know if a boy would want to marry me after seeing my personality. Thanks, mum. BUT LIKE, I can be independent. I think. Maybe? Hopefully.

11) I chose the most boring and obvious title ever. Who even allowed my 13 year old brain to do that? Answer is idk.

12) I researched a lot of mafia stuff for this book and gun types, I was hoping the police didn't come knocking at my door. It was a good thing I didn't research about something along the lines of types of blood splatters, or types of torturing devices to cause the most pain when inflicted on a living individual because that might be the trigger on my own arrest lol.

13) I didn't know how to write kissing scenes so I kinda winged it. Actually, that's probably because I haven't HAD my first kiss....HAHAHAH. that explains it. i guess.

14) I would write the chapters anywhere, in the bus or when visiting a close relative if I had any drop of inspiration.

15) I am still proud that I completed this piece of shit even though...it is shit.

Remember to wear your masks when you leave your home, practice social distancing and wash your hands frequently with soap. The virus is still prevalent even in countries where the number of daily infections are low. It's honestly just better to be safe than sorry. Mild inconveniences are so much better than being admitted to the hospital with horrible symptoms and losing a couple grand (if your healthcare isn't free) for medication. That's just my opinion, though.

Thank you again, for giving this sad excuse of a fanfiction a chance. For spending your time to read it, to comment  on it. For gifting me smiles when I recieve notifications of your votes, comments and even when you add it to your reading list! Thank you for being a part of my teenagehood.

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