Only With You

Drunky

        Parties aren't my thing, at least not anymore. All during 9th and part of 10th grade, I used to go to almost every single party and lose control. Those years were though ones. I was full of hatred, and it was all towards myself. I didn't want to hide the person I was, be afraid to flirt with a girl, or even touch her in a public place because everyone would think I'm a lesbian. Of course it was true, but that didn't I wanted to face the consequences of going out the closet.

        That's why I wanted to punish myself, because I was a coward. I'm still a coward. And parties helped me take my head off of things and it was a way to hurt myself with all the alcohol and weed. But of course, April got into the picture and showed me how wrong I was, because I wasn't just hurting myself but my family and her too. That day I stopped going to parties if I wasn’t by April's side.

        So that's my story with parties. I didn't have very good memories about it and I promised myself I wouldn’t go to one unless I was with April, but today I was going to make an exception for Emma. And I was really hoping it was worth it.

        “Wow Izzy, you look hot!” Emma said as soon as I got in her car. I wasn’t wearing anything special tonight- just some skinny jeans and a Nirvana shirt, along with some white converse- but Emma still seamed really surprised by the way I was dressing. It was flattering.
        
        I smiled warmly at her while I locked the seat belt around me while Emma started driving towards the party. “Thank you, but this is nothing out of usual I wear for school,” I allowed myself to give Emma a full look before continuing, “But you do look really nice in that dress.” It indeed hugged Emma’s body in all the right places, making her look amazing.

        Emma turned her head to look at me with a smirk on her lips for a few seconds. My body got rigid and my hands grabbed the sides of my seat, holding tight on them. Emma’s action made me so nervous- it wasn’t because she was looking at me, it was because she wasn’t looking ahead at the road while driving. And I always hated when people did that. At least April is very cautious while driving when I’m in the car. My body only got even more rigid at that thought.

        A car horn was heard very close to us and Emma’s head immediately snapped to the front of the car, not giving her time to answer me. Emma turned the steering wheel to the right in one swift motion and sent the car suddenly back into our side of the road. She almost killed us! I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath slowly, in attempt to calm down. My hands where still gripping my seat and I could feel them shaking even with the pressure I was doing against the leather of the seat.

        Emma’s voice snapped me back to reality. “I was hoping you would say that, I didn’t spent so many time getting ready for nothing,” she made a short pause before hesitantly say, “And I was talking about your make-up.” Emma was talking like nothing happened, her tone of voice sounded calm and flirty- like her usual self. How can she be so calm?

        I frowned- not understanding the part about the make-up- before I remembered our conversation a few minutes ago about me ‘looking hot’. So she thinks I look hot because of the make-up? Thinking that kind of disappointed me, because maybe she didn’t like the natural look I have all the time, but I wasn’t changing that for her- I wasn’t changing for any girl.

        I gave Emma a little fake smile, but I tried my best to make it seem authentic. “I’m glad you think so. And believe me, it was worth it, everyone will be all over you.”

        Emma smiled and I could see her cheeks getting a darker shade of pink. She didn’t say anything about my comment but gave me a smile, which made me realize she probably was freaking out on the inside, thinking I was seriously flirting with her. She must think I was telling her I would be the one all over her. I laughed mentally at the thought of that. Emma was always so flirty but deep inside she was so shy too.