Only With You

Little notes

        I looked at the paper while frowning. What does she wants to talk about? Maybe she is mad cause I’m not so friendly with her boyfriend? I glanced at April one more time, seeing her still looking at the front of the classroom and I grabbed my pen to reply to her. “Sure, what about?” I discretely left the paper on her lap because the teacher was only two rows from us, looking around, making sure everyone was working.

        She felt my hand touching her thigh almost immediately and glanced at me and down at her lap, quickly taking the paper and looking around for the teacher who was back in her desk. She opened it and read the note, taking only a few seconds to write a reply and giving me the paper back.

        I looked up at the teacher who was looking at me but I quickly looked away and down at my work sheet, pretending to be thinking about my answer. I read the note, “Nathan and you..”

        Hmm, what about me and Nathan? And why the hell is she acting like she is mad at me or something? I took longer to answer this time cause I couldn’t think about what to answer, but I finally decided to reply, “There's something wrong? You seem.. idk, tense?” I passed the note to her over the desk quickly and got back to do some work, cause I haven't start to do it if you don’t count writing my name in the top of the paper.

        She took a few minutes to reply and in the mean while I finished quickly a few of the questions. This was a really easy work considering we are in Advanced English. When she gave me back at the paper back I looked up just in time to see the teacher giving us a warning look. I smiled at her and got back to my work sheet to avoid her giving us detention for passing notes in class.

        I’m still wandering how I ended up in Advanced English. Guess that April pushing me around to study for it and my love for books helps a lot but I’m not so good when it comes about writing down my opinion on people’s works or analyzing most of the shit some of the most famous authors said. I’m more of the kind of girl who reads modern books, like the ones from Sarah Dessen, my favorite author.

        I took out the paper from under my notebook and read it, “I’m fine. Why don’t you give him a chance? It looks like you already like a boy and you don’t want to tell me about him. I’m your best friend Izzy, you can tell me everything.”

        I read the paper twice and blinked, not knowing how to feel or what to tell to her. I swallowed when I read the word “boy” again, and it made me feel worse knowing that she still doesn’t know I’m a lesbian.
        
        Here she was, my best friend, caring about me and thinking I liked a boy when I never even looked at one if it wasn’t to fake to her and the rest of my friends. I was a terrible person. She has been my friend for 6 years for God sakes! But I can’t tell her the truth now, not through a note. I still don’t know if she is okay with gay people, maybe I should talk about it with her before telling her I’m a lesbian, just to see how she feels about it.

        From the corner of my eye I could see April looking at me expectantly. I guess I took long enough just looking at the note and thinking. I need to answer her fast. Thank God I’m good at lying.

        “I know pup, if I liked a boy I would tell you first. And I don’t want to give him a chance cause I don’t like him.. you know Nathan is like a brother to me.” But mostly because he is a BOY. I scoffed at my own thought and that caught the teacher’s attention, who started walking toward our desk and snatched the paper from April before she could take it or even read it.

         April turned to me with a look of panic on her face and the teacher glared at us before saying, “Miss O’nail," she looked at April, "And Miss Carter," she looked back at me, "Isn’t the class fun enough for you two to pay attention and stop passing little notes around?”  I cleared my throat quickly so I wouldn’t sound like the little scared girl I was right now and answered for both of April and I, “Not at all Mrs. Hill, we found this class very interesting and educational. We were just talking about the work sheet.”
        
        I could see April slightly shaking her head from the corner of my eye as the teacher took a glance at the paper before turned back to me with her face a shade redder than a minute ago. Damn, she gets mad quickly. What a temper. “You two," she pointed between April and I, "Will have detention this afternoon, right after school. If you think I will let this pass you are so wrong, I won’t let you girls make fun of me!”