Only With You

Slap

        “C’mon Izzy, don’t be such a coward,” April tried to encourage me failing misery. The bell just went off, signaling the beginning of lunch hour; which, for me, signaled that it was time to approach the first girl in the list. Aria White, the school’s bad ass.
           
        Things with Aria didn’t end up too well; in fact, our whole ‘fling’ was something so weird. You would think someone like her would laugh at my face and go fuck every guy she wants, but it wasn’t like that. After a few months of having a crush on her I decided to stop being a coward and approach her alone. At first she would flip me off, but I didn’t give up so easily. I would spend lunch hour with her almost every single day, smoking week at the back of the school, just talking, and some days she would even play the guitar for me. Aria was someone different. She gave you that vibe of an unapproachable person, but if you stick around you get to see the funny and sweet girl she could be.
           
        “You don’t get it, April. She hates me now! She will kick my ass!” I tried to convince April to let me avoid talking to Aria today, but April’s grip on my wrists didn’t change. She was basically dragging me to the back of the school, where I would surely find Aria.
           
        “Stop being so dramatic,” April scoffed.
           
        “I’m not being dramatic,” I whined, “I’m being realistic. I told you how pissed off she was when I told her I didn’t want anything serious!”
           
        That was the problem about Aria -more like it was my problem to commit with a girl that I obviously had a crush on. Aria was hard to reach, but when I did, she fell for me; like really hard. She would call me ‘babe’, try to kiss me every time she could, wink at me in the hallway, and she even got me flowers. That was the big sing of ‘stop’. I had to tell her we weren’t in a relationship and I wasn’t ready for one either. I liked her, Aria was a nice girl, but I didn’t see myself with her in a serious relationship. The farthest I would go with her would be a heavy make out, but nothing more than that.
           
        So I broke Aria’s heart. Did you ever see a bad ass with her heart being broken? It’s not nice. She doesn’t start crying and runs away; she stays and tries to kick your ass for being an asshole to her. Believe me, a bad ass has nothing to lose, so you better run fast if you ever broke their heart, because they will try to break every bone in your body in return.
           
        “She won’t hit you, Izzy. That happened like six months ago and I’m sure someone like her got over you fast,” April said while pushing the doors to go outside at the back of the school.
           
        I didn’t see Aria anywhere around us, but I know she was close so I whispered back to April, “Someone like her? What’s that supposed to mean? You didn’t see her crying a river while running after me to kick my ass. Aria literally loved me, April. That girl still glares at me every time she sees me in class.”
           
        April let go of my wrists and shook her head. “Look Izzy, you have to kiss her and then it’s over. It’s the only way you can know if she is the one.”
           
        I scoffed. “Only have to kiss her? That’s not even easy. She doesn’t talk to me at all.”
           
        April gave me a pleading look. “Izzy, you have to find a way. Do something, ask her to smoke with you, I don’t know,” she looked down before continuing, “If you don’t start somewhere how are you supposed to make the right girl fall in love with you?”
           
        April’s sadness made me feel like an asshole; here I was, complaining about talking to a girl, when she was worried that I could die if I don’t do things right. I wasn’t thinking about the death line like she was.
           
        I wrapped my arms around April’s waist, giving her a comforting hug, and she immediately hugged me back. “You are right. I will do my best to kiss her today and we will know if she is the one.” I kissed April’s head that rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry for being selfish, I wasn’t thinking about the death line. I will do my best, pup. I promise.”
           
        April nodded against my shoulder before pulling away and kissing my cheek. “Good luck. I will wait for you in the hallway, so if something goes wrong just scream and I will come to your rescue,” she joked.
           
        I laughed softly. “Sure, I will do that,” I turned around and started walking away from her, but still talking over my shoulder, “I hope she doesn’t beat your ass too.” April shook her head playfully before turning around and getting back into the building.
           
        With one last look at the school’s exit, I started walking around the big bush that was against the wall, covering the rest of the school’s back from the eyes of the teachers. That was the same spot where I would always find Aria with her friends, leaning against the wall.
           
        Luckily for me, I found Aria standing there by herself. She was smoking with a distant look on her eyes, but as soon as she heard me approaching her, her expression turned blank. I was seriously praying to God that she would talk to me by this point.
           
        “Well, well, well… Look who we have here,” she dropped the finished cigarette on the floor and didn’t bother to step on it, “What do you want, Isabella?” she said plainly.
           
        I carefully leaned against the wall by her side. I was afraid she would even hit me for being so close. “Can’t we be friends anymore, Ari?” I tried being nice.
           
        She let out a dry laugh. It was so obvious she wasn’t going to make this any easier. “Really, what the fuck do you want? You broke my heart and then you come here a couple of months later to be my bestie?”
           
        “I wasn’t asking you to be your bestie,” I said, trying to defend myself.
           
        “Then what is it? I don’t have time for your crap,” she snapped, but the sad tone at the end of the sentence give her away; this was hard for her too.
           
        I turned my head to look at her and gave her a pleading look. “I just want things to be good between us. You were a great friend, Ari. I still want your friendship.”
           
        Aria sighed and took out a joint and lighting it up before slowly sucking the smoke from it. She was taking her time to answer, obviously thinking if she was willing to give me a second chance.
           
        “Okay, we can be friends. Nothing more than friends thought,” she finally said.
           
        I gave her a smile and nodded. “Of course, just friends.”
           
        She nodded back at me and continued smoking. “So, did you finally get the balls to ask her out?”
           
        Her question seriously surprised me. What is she talking about? I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
           
        “Your friend, the hot one,” she said nonchalant, “I saw the way you look at her.”
           
        “Emma?” I asked when I couldn’t figure out who she was talking about.
           
        “Who the fuck is Emma?” She exhaled the smoke between words and looked at me. “I don’t know about any Emma’s. You want to smoke?”
           
        I nodded at her question and she stood right in front of me. “I will smoke and you will suck it when it comes out of my mouth, so it doesn’t hit you hard,” she did as she said and I brought my lips closer to hers to suck the smoke coming out of her lips, “So, did you ask her out?” she asked again.
           
        I let out the smoke slowly before replying, “I don’t know who you are talking about if it’s not Emma.”
           
        Aria blow out the smoke again, right into my lips. “I’m talking about your little friend, April.”
           
        I frowned and shook my head. “She is my friend, why I would ask her out?”
           
        Aria left out a dry laugh, blowing smoke all over my face. “Like I said, I always saw the way you look at her.”
           
        I don’t know what came over me, whether it was the fact that I couldn’t understand her, or that talking about April in that way made me nervous, or maybe even the fact that Aria’s lips were so close to mine; but in that moment I quickly cupped her chin with my hand and kissed her hard, completely shutting her up. I didn’t give her a second to respond, I just moved my lips quickly against hers, but she never kissed back. In that moment it was so simply for me to understand that she wasn’t the one. I didn’t feel anything at all; no feelings, or spark, or anything at all- I felt numb. It wasn’t the way I should feel about kissing the right person.

        I wished I would still feel numb after she pushed me away roughly, because as soon as she did that, her hand slapped me with full force. I stumbled a few second before gaining balance again and I put my hand over my cheek. Damn, she is going to kill me.

        “Get the hell out of here, Isabella. I don’t know what's your fucking problem, but I won’t be your little toy again,” she spat. Her whole body screamed she was pissed; from her clenched fists, to her stomping boots and back at her eyes full of hate.

        I was so scared but so sorry for her at the same time. I knew now that she wouldn’t hurt me more than she did already; the only reason she did that was because she really loved me a few months ago and she was trying to protect herself again. I couldn’t blame her.

        I already had my answer -she wasn’t the love of my life- so it was time for me to walk away. I nodded and gave her an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry Aria, I really am. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I will go now. I’m sorry,” I said quickly before turning around and walking at a fast pace to get inside the school building.

        As soon as I got back into school, I saw April leaning against the wall, waiting for me. She looked at me and at the hand on my cheek before shaking her head.

        “She really hit you. You were right,” April took a few steps, standing in front of me, and took my hand away from my cheek, examining the damage, “Damn, this will turn purple if you don’t put some ice some. She gave you a good hit.”

        I let out a short laugh. “Oh, really? It certainly hurts like a bitch.”

        April took my hand and started to lead me down the hall, to nurse office. “So I suppose she isn’t the one?” she said, with a little laugh.

        “No shit, Sherlock,” I said sarcastically before pouting at her. “You should kiss it better,” I joked.

        April looked at me and smiled, “In your dreams, baby.”