Only With You

Beauty

        I got into the classroom from my photography class a second before the tardy belt went off, which earned me a look from Mrs. Cox, the teacher. I went to the back of the classroom quietly and took a seat next to Eli, my best friend. It’s not common from Mrs. Cox to look at me like that but for the last three days, since the morning I gave Dylan a lift to school, I have been acting weird. I mean, I have notice I’m acting weird, but I don’t know how to stop it.
               
        I was right about the period thing, but this is getting kinda weird for me and it never happened before so I’m starting to think it’s not only my hormones fucking with my mind. I keep thinking about what happened with April Monday night but I can’t even understand the way she made me feel, why the fuck I acted that way or why now everything feels just weird. Am I getting tired of her or something? Nah, it couldn’t be, she is like my sister.
               
        I felt awful about the fact that I have been trying to avoid April as much as possible the last two days without seeming like I’m mad at her or anything like that. I just needed to clear my head before I do something stupid around her. I know everything will go back to normal soon, and I can’t wait until that day because the last thing I want is for April to realize I’m kind of avoiding her and her getting mad or hurt because of my stupidity.
               
        Eli poked my side and I looked at him, who was giving me the 'What’s wrong?' face. Of course he knew something is wrong with me. He always read me like a book. But I seriously can’t talk with him about this cause I don’t even know how I feel or what the fuck happened to me. So I gave him a smile and spoke to him in a whisper, “Hi Eli, how are you?”
               
         He frowned for a second, probably trying to decide if he would drop it or not, and then finally smiled back at me. “Hey Izzy, I’m great, what about you?” He spoke in his husky voice that every girl would fall for.
               
        Elias Evans, or Eli for his friends, is the greatest and biggest gay I ever met, but he surely looks like a total womanizer that would break your heart in just a second just because he is pretty enough to do it and find someone else a second later. He is blond, tall, has blue eyes, a great tan, the best body I ever saw in a guy, he is intelligent, funny, athletic and charismatic. He is like the perfect boy created in a laboratory for girls that were trying to make the perfect guy. Too bad for them, cause he is gay and very proud about it.
               
        “I’m good, just tired… I haven’t been sleeping a lot lately.”
               
        “I can notice, you hate make up but it could help you a lot to cover your zombie face.” He chuckled, giving me a sympathetic smile when I glared at him. “Just kidding Izzy... Tell me, what’s keeping you awake.”
               
         I mumbled, “Just a lot of things in my mind.”
               
        He leaned closer to me. “What kind of things? Please tell me it’s about you finally getting a girlfriend.”
               
        I had to laugh at his response. Eli always wanted me to have a girlfriend, but I never had one. Sure, I had some little crushes and I made out with a couple of girls, but nothing serious. April made me think about it the other day but I really couldn’t think why. I guess a part of me didn’t want to get in a committed relationship and other part of me felt like it would push me away from my friends and that’s not something I want to happen. My friends are always first for me and the last thing I want is to lose my relationship with them because of a girl. It’s not worth it, no one is.
               
        I shook my head and opened my mouth to respond but Mrs. Cox cut me off when she started to explain the lesson for today. We were supposed to go around the campus and try to find something that 'captures the meaning of beauty'. It could be whatever we want but we would have to say why we find that picture beautiful. We had to finish this work due tomorrow.
               
        We got our cameras with all the equipment ready and bags, and went off around the campus with Eli. The hallways where empty with everyone in their classes so every time we spoke our voices would echo around the whole making a creepy kind of effect. I’m sure this place would be perfect for a scary movie.
               
         Eli bumped my shoulder slightly and asked me, “So, what’s in your mind?”
          
         I shook my head. “Nothing important, don’t worry about it.”
               
        Eli left out a short laugh. “Oh honey, you are my best friend, of course I care about it.”
               
        I smiled at him. “I’m on ‘those days’, you know how I can get.”
               
        He nodded quickly and faked to be scared. “Oh I know, it’s so scary that I’m sure that turned me gay. Seeing you like that made me fear how a future girlfriend would act.”
               
        I laughed and bumped into him like he did with me before. “Shut up, you make me sound like some creepy girl that will spend all her life alone because of her weird hormones.”
               
        Eli nodded again and looked at me with a smile. “That’s exactly what I’m saying hun,” he joked.
               
        I chuckled and opened the door for us when we reached the door to go outside and around the campus. “Shut up and look around for something beautiful so we can take a few pics of it.”
               
        “I have an idea, why don’t you call your hot friend, the one with the big strong arms and tell him to come here so I can take a few photos of him shirtless?”
               
        I fake gagged and told him, “His name is Nathan.”
               
        Eli smile only got bigger. “Ohh so the hotty has a hot name too. If I was you I would take him home, tie him to the bed and never let him go,” he giggled like a little kid and continued talking, “I can take all the photos I want if he is like that.”
               
        “You are gross buddy,” I told him while laughing. “Let’s just finish this shit so we can have the rest of the hour for ourselves.”
               
         “Yes ma’am, where do we start?”
               
        I chuckled. “I have no idea, I don’t even know what I will photograph, and school isn’t beautiful at all.”
               
        Eli and I looked around the football court where we were right now and keep walking towards the gym, not finding anything but grass and bleachers to photograph outside. Eli was the one breaking the silence, “So I gave you my definition of beauty in a person and that’s your hot friend Nathan, but what about you Izzy? What do you find beautiful in a girl?”
               
        I looked at him, surprised that he asked me that and looked ahead of us while thinking of the things that would make a girl beautiful in my eyes. It took me a minute before I replied to Eli, “I think that a lot of things could make a girl beautiful,” I paused trying to think of a way to explain it while walking into the empty gym to the corridors again, “But my ideal girl would be someone I can feel comfortable with, a girl that could make me laugh and make me forget about everything else. Someone who is intelligent, not only book-smart but street-smart, like someone independent who could handle every situation but also needed me like I would need her, if you get what I mean. She would have to be loyal, sarcastic, passionate and caring.”
               
        I glanced at Eli, who was looking at me with a serious look on his face, listening intently to what I’m saying.  “What about physically?”
               
        I smiled, knowing that he would ask that. “I like girls that are shorter than me, so I can be the one holding them, but I would like her to hold me too; it would be so cute to watch her trying to hold me with me being taller than her. Also I have a soft spot with blonds with light eyes. She would need to have an athletic body, simply because I’m athletic but what I like the most are those girls that have that cute innocent look, like those cute nerdy girls.”  
               
        By now we were a few meters away from the cafeteria. I looked around us and more people were around here. “Wow, you really thought about it,” Eli said.
               
        I chuckled. “Not really, I just came up with all of that.”
               
        Eli opened the door for me and we got into the cafeteria, looking for a table. “Well, it was pretty deep. Like you did think about it a million times.”
               
        I frowned for a second and shrugged. “I didn’t, I never even thought about it before.”
               
        We took a seat in a table and Eli spoke, “I think you should think about what you told me, like everything you said about your perfect girl doesn’t make you think about someone you already know?”
               
        “What are you talking about?”
               
        Eli rolled his eyes slightly. “C’mon Izzy, think about it, what girls do you know that are the way that you describe it? Close your eyes and try to picture her.”
               
        I gave Eli a funny look and he glared at me, urging me to close my eyes and think. So I did, I closed my eyes and thought about all the things I told him that would make a girl perfect in my eyes. At first I couldn’t understand why was he making me do this, but after a few minutes I started to picture that perfect girl inside my head and everything came back to me... The long blond hair blowing in the wind. The light green eyes sparkling in the night. The big smile. The contagious laugh. The way she holds me. Her nerdy personality. The way she was always there for me. Every single little detail I told Eli now suddenly fits in.
               
        How could I not notice before? I’m so stupid. I could have hit myself in the face if I wasn’t in the cafeteria surrounded by people.
               
        April. She is my perfect girl. The one I described to Eli.
               
        My eyes shot open and I looked at Eli with a look of panic in my eyes while whispering, “Holy shit Eli.”
               
        He nodded slowly. “I know. I can’t understand it, she is your best friend.”
               
        I groaned and rested my head on the table. “Tell me about it, these last few days have been hell around her.”
               
        Eli looked at me with a questioning look. “What are you talking about?”
               
        I closed my eyes and mumbled, “I have been acting weird, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I was thinking it’s just my hormones, you know how I get on my period but sometimes it gets way too weird.”
               
        Eli started to talk, “Yeah, maybe is just your hormones so don’t panic. I remember that it happened once before with Blair, remember?”
               
        I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. And what happened with Blair was so different. I don’t know how to explain it.”
               
        “But what if y-” Eli started talking but was cut off by April who came running to the table and sat on the other side of Eli and I. Eli leaned to whisper into my ear, “Speaking of the devil.”
               
        I shoot him a warning look and looked back at April who was catching her breath. She really needs some work out. After she got to breath properly again she smiled at us and said cheerfully, “Hi Eli, hi Izzy!”
               
        Eli raised his eyebrows to me and turned back at April, smiling. “Hi April, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in class?”
               
        April replied while looking at me, “Yup, but my teacher left me go 10 minutes sooner so I could talk to Izzy about something important.”
               
        It was my turn to speak, “What do you need to talk about pup?”
               
        “Well, I have been looking to you all day to ask you if I could spend the night at your house today. You know how my parents got mad at me the other day about the detention and they are still mad at me about it, so I would like to take a break from home.”
               
         I looked at Eli quickly and he nodded at me, trying to tell me to let her stay in my house. So I looked back at her and replied, “Sure April, you can always stay at my house.”

        I know I was being nice but something inside my head was telling me to push her away for a few more days until everything gets back to normal. But she didn’t deserve me to do that at her. I couldn’t push my best friend away only because I act like a weird and hormonal person during my period. That’s all it is, this is my hormones fucking with my head and I couldn’t let that hurt April’s feelings by pushing her away.

        What about your idea of the perfect girl?, my conscious spoke to me. I mentally shook my head. That was just a causality, nothing more. April couldn’t be my perfect girl, and even if she was that would only make her perfect to be my best friend, but nothing more than that.
                
        Yeah Isabella, keep lying to yourself like that.
               
        I snapped back to reality when Eli placed his hand on my shoulder and spoke to us while getting up from his seat. “Well girls, I will go now, I have to get home, school is over for me.”
               
        I smiled at him and stood up too to hug him. I always loved his hugs, he is so warm all the time. “Okay Eli, I will see you tomorrow in class.”
               
        Eli pulled away just a bit to wink at me. “Of course you will. And don’t forget about the work we have for phography,” he tilted his head kinda pointing to April, but discretely, and whispered to me, “You already have your model of beauty.”
               
        I didn’t have time to reply to him because he quickly winked at me again and walked to the doors of the cafeteria, disappearing behind them. I looked back at April and she smiled widely at me, which caused me to stare at her perfect smile for a little bit longer than usual.
               
        April spoke, interrupting my thoughts, “What was all that whispering with Eli about?”
               
        I shook my head and gave her a fake smile, trying not to show my nervousness. “That was nothing, just telling me about his crush on a guy, don’t worry about it.” The bell rang and I jumped from my seat, taking my bag. “Well, I should go or I will get late to practice. I will see you tonight I guess?” I asked hopefully. Despite everything I think or say, I always want her near me. I will worry about my weirdness later.
               
        April stood up too and reached over the table to kiss my cheek. “I will be there at seven and maybe we can watch a few movies?”
               
        I smiled, this time a genuine smile, and nodded. “Of course, I will make sure to take your mind off of your parents tonight pup.”
               
        She started to walk to the opposite direction I was walking and spoke over her shoulder, “You are the best Izzy, I love you!”
               
      I suddenly stopped walking, but April didn’t realized. She was walking away from me not looking back. And here I was, in the same spot, unable to move because she just said she loves me. Of course we say that to each other all the time, but it just felt weird this time. A good kind of weird though.
               
        I looked down and saw the camera was still in my hands. I remembered the homework for photography class and thought, oh fuck it. So I quickly pointed the camera at her, adjusted the lent and waited for the perfect time when she would turn around almost completely to open the doors from the cafeteria.

        And when she did I took the perfect shot. The wind from outside hit her and made her long blond hair blow slightly, her smile was still big like the one she gave me not a minute ago and you could see how her light green eyes were shinning with the sun reflecting on them.

        She really is the definition of beauty…