Silence | Book 2

1-3: Heartletting

Hibiki and Tristan ate their breakfast on the couch. Since Hibiki couldn't write at the same time, and thus not respond to anything Tristan would say, he put on a random morning talkshow to combat the silence.

Tristan was only halfway through the scrambled eggs, when Hibiki finished his. Once he had put the plate down, he judged it with a wide grin and a heart gesture.

"I'm glad you liked it." A smile played around Tristan's lips as well, even when he took another – moderate, bite. In response Hibiki nodded enthusiastically, which caused a few strands of his hair to fall in front of his eyes.

"It's probably not as good as what you usually get though..." The moment he said it, Hibiki immediately huffed and shook his head. With his index fingers, he sternly signed a cross, telling him not to say such things. Realising he had let his anxiety speak, Tristan quickly averted his gaze.

"Sorry." He mumbled while he saw Hibiki type rapidly on his phone from the corner of his eye. Afraid that he would get scolded for bringing the mood down, he stayed silent and looked down at his plate.

A firm poke on his shoulder demanded his attention. He'd expected to see a frown, but instead Hibiki didn't appear too angry; he just held out his phone for him to read. Reluctantly he did.

'It doesn't matter if it's as good; there are more measures than just being the best at something. I don't care, and even if you did fuck up, I still wouldn't. Because you're trying for me, and being nice to me. That's what matters.'

Hibiki gave the corner of Tristan's mouth a slight prod when he looked up, telling him to smile. The other corner joined suit, spurred on by a slight, warm glow in his chest. Before he could say anything, Hibiki had plucked his phone from his grasp and typed again rapidly.

'It was great anyway'

He added with a determined puff of his cheeks. Tristan nodded in response, then put his plate down on the table. Without saying anything, he leant in and gave Hibiki a tight hug.

A deep, heavy breath escaped him, and for a moment he appreciated the warmth and comfort. He felt Hibiki's arms close around him, and couldn't help but smile slightly.

"You always know what to say to me," he said softly. "I don't want to be so nervous, but I'm afraid I will lose this – us. It's a good thing... but there's so much that can go wrong, so if I'm not great, why would you go through the trouble for it?"

He let out a sigh, holding on slightly tighter while trying to figure out the patterns behind his own feelings; to reason his way through why he felt such dread. There was far more than one.

"Did you tell your parents?" He asked, glancing up at Hibiki. He meant for it to only last a moment, but found it difficult to look away.

Hibiki slowly shook his head, the edges of his mouth curling up wryly as he admitted he hadn't.

"I haven't either..." While buried in the warmth of Hibiki's chest, he could hear the television suddenly go silent. Two hands on his shoulders held him, but he hadn't quite finished his thoughts yet.

"It feels so strange to think of myself as gay? It definitely doesn't feel like rainbows and glitter." He let out a heavy sigh, that tapered into a frustrated noise. "It's not fair. I like you, but I can't even look in the mirror and admit it to myself because I've been told it's disgusting. You are the best thing I've had in a long while. I shouldn't be afraid of saying that, but I know that if I were to, my parents wouldn't be glad I'm finally happy. And... I don't think they really care? So why should I call myself gay,- when I'm afraid, and lost... and worried about my future? ... It's cruel."