Silence | Book 2

3-8: Family Gathering

Second day, second party. Fuck me. Once more he found himself in the backseat of a luxury car on his way to a social gathering, but this time he wouldn't be able to ignore the guests. Moreover he doubted he'd get another stroke of luck to find someone like Nessa there. Instead he would have to deal with his cousins and their friends, aunts and uncles, and then all the further removed family that vaguely floated around somewhere – and the ones that showed up usually had something to prove or gain.

It was a relatively clear day, and he'd rather be anywhere else than his grandmother's home. If anything he'd love to drive home past these coastal roads on his bike; but instead his way back was blocked by the large, automatic gate of his grandmother's property.

She had far more traditional tastes than his parents, who generally enjoyed more modern and even Western influences, and it showed. Everything held onto an outdated ideal of imperial grandeur, where everything had to be impeccable down to the fine details. Fine woodwork, traditional gardens, and a rather open structure divided by geometric windows made it seem like they had stumbled into the edō period. But a closer look revealed that the tradition was just a veneer over a by all means luxurious home.

At some point in time his family had been a part of the Tokugawa shogunate and his grandmother had never quite let go of that romanticised heritage. Even though her branch of the family had been impoverished, and his by all means 'commoner' grandfather was the one who had made the family fortune.

At least she was consistent, and he knew what was expected of him: to be honourable, nothing less than perfect, with the underlying belief that everything Japanese was better. Humiliation meant one could just as well stop living altogether, because a disgraced existence was worse than downright none. She'd made that abundantly clear, whenever she equalled his mental distress to being undisciplined and weak-willed.

Part of him wanted to turn on the loudest, most offensive song he could find and flip her off for the entire duration of it, but in reality he tried to ignore her and find a more subtle victory in the fact that she'd die before he did. The rest of the family he didn't really know exactly where they stood, and whether or not the stigma of him being disturbed and crazy could be alleviated just by showing up. As much as his parents hoped it would, he suspected that they had changed far less than he had in the past decade – including what they thought of him.

Several other cars had been parked in the garage, indicating they weren't the first to arrive. He couldn't tell by the make of the vehicles who were already there, but he assumed it would be closely related family and his grandmother's friends.

After a short walk uphill to the main home, they were received at the main entrance hall by his grandmother's personnel. The interior of the home consisted of warm wooden walls and finely carved furniture, decorated with flowers and very conservative brush art of Japanese scenes and sayings. Part of him couldn't help but find it ironic that in her desire to be proud of their family ancestry, his grandmother had somehow also become horribly stereotypical.

There was a rigidness and strictness to their welcome, that made it seem like the staff weren't people, but mere servants. Even though he'd grown up in a similar system, the interactions at home weren't nearly as oppressive. In turn, there was also the expectation of them to know and honour these borderline robotic customs.

Suddenly he was very aware of his posture and limbs, and even though he had never been particularly effeminate, he felt like he had to be stoic and upright to live up to being a man. Despite the deep seated desire to be utterly nonchalant and casual just to fuck with all the ridiculous norms, he didn't out of respect for his parents.

They were led down a hallway, into a large room. The family present all knelt around a low table, set with tea and many refined, bite sized cakes and candies. Most of them stood out in the surroundings, dressed in fine suits and elegant dresses that didn't match their surroundings.