Silence | Book 2

3-11: Distance

Hibiki laid on his bed with a tablet device, watching an action flick while trying not to fall back asleep. It had been quiet for a few hours by then, but he knew that if Tristan messaged he had to be there. So despite the strain on his eyes he kept watching.

And then suddenly a message popped up. As he read it adrenaline surged through his body.

T: I'm not evil, right?

Please tell me I'm not bad.

The brutal desperation of the question made his heart ache, knowing that Tristan's thoughts had to be on the brink of sinking into a very dark place and this was a last grasp at comfort. If he had been there he would have hugged and held him, but the only thing that could span the distance between them were his words.

H: You're not

Of course you're not

You're the nicest person I know

He responded from the bottom of his heart, hoping that somehow an internet connection could transfer his feelings as well. If only a fraction of his love reached him, that would be enough.

T: They've been putting it in my head for hours. I had to tell everything I've done wrong. Confess that I'm worthless before God. All I have been doing is asking for forgiveness, and I don't know anymore if I really did do wrong.

Once more he felt the desperate need to break things out of sheer, powerless anger. His dark, violent side wanted to drown those cult members one by one in their own holy water. Anything to make sure they would never dare put another word of self-loathing into Tristan's mind.

H: Well they're goddamn pieces of shit for making you do that

Where are you?

Is it safe to talk?

He didn't know exactly what was going on, and it frustrated him that he wasn't sure what he could and couldn't say. Or if talking only meant Tristan would be in more danger. His heart pounded worrisomely loud as he awaited the answer.

T: I'm in the bathroom. I think I have a little while, but if I stay away too long they'll suspect me.

I can't do this anymore, I'm so tired. We have to keep going until sunrise. I want to go home and sleep.

The anger he felt was pushed aside by his concern, and if he could he would break down that bathroom door and hug Tristan. To take him home so all this would just be a bad memory.

H: It'll be okay

You're going to get out

And I'll make you forget everything they said

It's not true

I know that you know as well

T: It's so difficult. I don't know anymore. I have to keep telling myself it's all imagined, but there's so much. It's all around me, I can hear them pray even here.

I fucking hate this. I'm sorry, you didn't ask to deal with this.

H: Neither did you

And I'm not leaving you alone

Listen to me

You are not a bad person

Who do you trust more

Me or them?

He didn't know if it would work, but at the very least his question would distract Tristan from his situation and make him think about him.