Silence | Book 2

4-8: Travel

Hibiki smiled as Tristan came down the stairs, in a white dress shirt and navy coloured, knitted jumper. He was glad to see him back in some more formal wear, rather than old clothes, since he knew Tristan was more comfortable in those. It wasn't like he himself had tried very hard while getting dressed though, wearing a black hoodie with a rock band logo and jeans.

He leant against the kitchen island while eating a reheated, leftover pancake. It was still pretty good, and he pointed out the other ones to Tristan with an inquisitive smile. The latter shook his head.

"I'm not very hungry, sorry." He mumbled in response, as it became clear how much of a grip his anxiety had on him.

Realising that, Hibiki calmly set down the plate with his pancake, and wiped his hands on a kitchen towel. He smiled and held both hands out in a gesture for Tristan to come over. Although a bit reluctant, he did what he asked. Gently he placed his arms around Tristan's waist, and carefully pulled him into a hug to say it would be alright. Tristan held on tight, placing both hands on his back.

For a moment he basked in the warmth, making sure to comfort him best he could. But then he had to take out his phone, so he could write the encouragement a hug couldn't convey.

'It's going to be okay, I'll be there, and you'll get through this. I get that it's hard, but your mom won't be able to hurt you again. Or Anya'

Tristan nodded and sighed, and he smiled back at him hoping to make him feel better.

"I know, but it's not like I can ever feel good about it. Even though she hurt me and she could hurt Anya I'm still,- I'm basically making sure I'll never have a mother that loves me. And even when I know she'd never be I just... feel like I have to forever give up on that hope. I can do it but, I think today I just want to be sad, because it's what I really am feeling."

With a slight frown he nodded that he understood that sentiment, and that it was appropriate to feel that way. He hadn't meant to make him feel like he wasn't allowed to be sad.

"I lost my mum. She's alive, but it feels like she's not my mother anymore?"

He felt a deep sting at those words, and the pain that came with them. It seemed like it took a moment before Tristan himself fully realised the extent of what that meant, his expression slowly sinking despite struggling to keep it together.

"I don't know if it's worse to be hurt and still have her, or to have nothing at all."

Seeing the tears in the corners of his eyes, he was well aware what would happen next, and pulled Tristan in for a close hug.

"I don't want to cry again," He shook his head against his shoulder, but a few harsh inhales betrayed him. "I just want to get this over with."

While Tristan grasped him firmly, he gave him a few soft pats on his head. The held-back sobs had apparently alerted Maki as well, trained to recognise distress. The dog pushed against both of their legs, and while Tristan calmed down, he ran the fingers of his good hand through the thick fur on Maki's back. It seemed to help him, and with a deep sigh he stood up straight again.

"Can we please go? So I won't have to think..."

He smiled and ran his hand up and down Tristan's shoulder.

'Kazuo will be here soon. It will be a long drive, so please eat a little?'

It couldn't be more than fifteen minutes before Kazuo would arrive, but he was worried about Tristan not eating anything. The last thing he wanted was for him to feel worse, or even collapse from the stress. After a second of reluctance, Tristan nodded.