Identity || Shoto Todoroki x Villain Reader

Chapter Fifty Seven - Awaited Conversation

In the mornings, I always had to walk with Yaoyorozu who was always with Shoto. I decided to stay out of trouble, I wouldn't speak at all because nothing I said was right. Somehow I always ended up hurting someone's feelings.

I didn't want to be here, but I didn't want to be with the villains either and I know no one could understand that because they saw good and bad as binary.

It felt like the longest week of my life, but I finally got through one week of eating at least one meal, taking a snack, and taking care of my cats. Aizawa handed my phone back to me. He informed me that all my activity will be tracked and that the only numbers in my phone were my classmates, Mom, and his. I nodded. "...Thank... you." I said. I was honestly relieved to finally have a phone again. It was a way to learn what the heck anyone was talking about without looking stupid. Like the other day, Kaminari was talking about a cruise. I still have no idea what that is.

He smiled-frowned, "You're welcome."

When the bell rang, the both of us headed to class together. I went to my seat. Nothing special happened until Aizawa said we'd be having sparing matches. He dismissed us to go to change into our gym uniform. The experience was uncomfortable. I could feel the other girls's eyes on me when I took off my shirt. I pretend to not notice it and walked onto the field once I was done. I stood the furthest I could from the class.

A box was being passed down for everyone to draw numbers. Whoever had the same numbers were partners. It was just my luck that Shoto and I were both number nine.

I sat by and watched the rest of the matches until my number was called. I put my guard up. Shoto did the same.

"Go." Aizawa stated.

Once I faced Shoto, all I could do is look at him. I placed my guard down. "I can't fight him." I stated.

"If you don't fight, you'll be affecting Todoroki's grade as well not just yours." Aizawa said. I looked back towards Shoto. I didn't want to do that to him so I sucked it up and would just let him win the match even if he would hurt me.

"No, it's fine." Shoto said. "If she doesn't want to fight, I don't want to force her." Shoto stared down at me. "You okay?"

I nodded. I walked out the ring. Aizawa called up the next match. I had to stay after school for my make-up class. Like always, Aizawa asked what he could do to make this easier. I shook my head, telling him that there was nothing.

There was no way he'd get it. I was raised by a villain who said that hero society was terrible. Then once I got here, there were people telling me hero society is great but I only got to see the ugly from people who just hated that thought of me being a living breathing human being among them. I tried to find a purpose here but I failed miserably and ended up staying with villains who were so understanding and took me as I was, but even I couldn't live up to their standards either.

I couldn't live to anyone's standards at all. No one could fix that. No one could make me belong anywhere.

"(F/n), the number of zeroes you have is too high. You're going to fail this semester. I'm going to talk to your other teachers and try to convince them to let you make up the work. Can you do them by yourself? Or do you want one of your classmates to help you? Do you want me to help you?"

"I'll do them by myself." I stated.

"Okay... and about today. I talked to Todoroki and he's okay with talking to you. If you're okay with it, to makeup for today. You and him could be in this room alone to talk about anything you want for thirty minutes. No one's going to listen in, your conversation won't be recorded. Are you up for that?"

"Is it the only way to save Shoto's grade?"

"I can come up with something else if you're not okay with the idea."

"No, it's fine." I said.

"Tomorrow before school, come in thirty minutes early. Okay?"

I nodded.

|||

I sat in the classroom alone. I came to school early like I was supposed to. I was relaxed for once because this would be the only thirty minutes I was being surveilled. Sure, I had my room, but the camera in there was still unsettling. The door slide up to reveal Shoto. He saw me.

"Hey."
"Hi." I replied.

He walked over to take a seat at his desk. "I'm sure you don't actually want to talk to me and you're doing this for my sake so thank you for that. But there is something I want to say that I don't really know how to when you came back."

"First off, I'm not mad at you. I know everyone's been reprimanding you for everything you do, but I'm not. Take this at your own pace. I don't want to push you to do anything you're not comfortable with. You have your reasons for everything I know and all of it isn't even your fault. I'm sorry for anything I may have done or not done. I'm just worried about you. Please give us another chance. I've been talking to everyone and they want to help. Please let us help."

"Ever since you saw your dad again, U.A, your mother, Aizawa, our friends, and most of all should have considered how much that really affected you. We neglected how hard this process had been for you. We thought that if you just lived like everyone you'd be okay, but that was stupid, because you're not like everyone ele. And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I especially couldn't help you."

His words were so genuine and sincere. I felt so bad... about everything.

"It's not your fault." I said with my arms crossed, staring at a wall.

"Still, I wish I could have done more." He said. "... How are you doing?"

I glanced at him with cold eyes then back at the wall.

"Okay..." he said and then continued speaking, "It probably sucks being back here like this. We all want to make this less miserable."

"You all will forget about me after U.A. You all have lives to live. My life isn't mine for another fifteen years. It's not like it was ever mine." This was probably the most I've spoken since I've returned.

Shoto had to take a second it really take it in. He took a second to think of the rules I had to follow, all the surveillance I was under, all the restrictions on me. I had to check with someone before I could even use the bathroom. He understood how suffocating this was. He didn't know what else to say. Honestly, I was glad he stopped talking.

I put my head down and relaxed for the first time in a very long time. No cameras. I really do hate those things.

I deeply exhaled. I guess, I was happy for the lack of a better word that Shoto wasn't angry, but that didn't erase the guilt.

I spoke while keeping my head down, "Do you think I can get through U.A?"

"Yeah, just try a little more. Give us another chance."

"Aizawa misses you. Your friends miss you. I miss you."

I thought for a moment even if I wasn't in the great place. I could at least try for them. They were good people.

|||

After school, Aizawa gave me packets of work from each of classes. He excused me from my afternoon sessions to complete my work.

I went to Iida. "Hi, uh. I know the last time we talked it wasn't really great. But, uh, I'm sorry for that and, I want to try again. I liked to read before everything happened. So do you want to go to the library together? I can't go by myself."

"Sure. Are you ready?"

I nodded. I grabbed the transparent bag I had to use. I followed Iida to the library. He did his own thing and I did mine. My goal was to get through one packet of work a day. It works give me something to do instead of sitting on a chair and dissociating.

If I behave, maybe they'll let me see Eri. That's all I really want. Yeah, I'll do this for Eri.