LOVING THIS MUCH!

Chapter 28 Broken heart

*Abigail's P.O.V*

I was drowning myself in liquors. Until now.. Hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit nya ko iniwan. Ano bang nagawa ko at nagawa nya kong saktan ng ganito? Hindi pa ba ako sapat sa kanya?

Ano pa bang kulang ko? Ano pa bang kailangan nya? We've known each other since forever! Paano nya ko nagawang ipagpalit sa isang tao na kelan nya lang nakilala?! Paano na ko? 

He's all I've got. Why does she have to take him away from me? Did I do something to her? to make her steal my Everything to me?

I lazily got up to get another bottle of wine. Accidentally, my eyes glanced in the mirror. I stop for a moment to look myself in the whole body mirror. Here I am in a big house all alone with a broken heart. 

The tears are streaming down again to my face. Devastated is understatement for what I am now. He's the only one who cares so much for me and Now..  he's gone.

Ang sakit. 
Sobrang sakit pala.

Minahal ko sya ng sobra pero....

Iniwan nya lang ako at nagawa nya kong saktan ng ganito.

If i only knew...

That loving him this much can make me suffer like HELL..

Sana pala KAHIT KAILAN, Hindi ko na lang sya nakilala.

I'm no longer the Abigail Ramirez that has a bright smile with a full of life eyes. He stole away my bright smile, he stole away my loving personality, he took away everything away from me! 

HE RUINED ME!

How could he do this to me? All I did was loving him. How could he?

I slowly kneel and lay my head on the cold surface of the tiles of my big house. My tears are still falling and I stupidly don't know when to stop crying. 

My tears are non-stop from falling but I didn't hear myself crying. I feel nothing but pain. Pain that so unbearable. Pain that is slowly killing me.

The longer the pain hurts, the longer the agony. I felt like I've been tortured and all I want now is to DIE.

I hate him. No. I hate him very very much for ruining me. But I HATE MYSELF MORE for wanting to see him right now, for wanting him to cuddle me in a warm hug, for wanting him to be back in my life no matter what he did to me. I still want him in my life. I still need him. I still love him . And I hate myself for that.

I can't live like this. I can't. I need him in my life.

I arise from lying on the floor and brush my tears that wash out my make up. I stand up and grab my towel. I can't be sulking here. I need to move, I need to do something to win him back.

That's right. I will win him back and I can be happy again.

***

I put a lipstick and a little blush-on for me to not look pale and I took the last look on the mirror to make sure that I'm still attractive and beautiful.

I smile on the mirror and grab my phone and leave my house.

***

There's no one at his house. So, I went to school to find him. While I'm parking my car I saw him. Running right at my direction. My heart was thumping so hard against my ribs just seeing him. I missed him so much.