Dark Desire🖤

Chapter: 22

Rose's POV

The scent of lavender filled in my bathroom as the shower glass got blurry because of all the heat radiating from my hot shower. Crystal like water started to cascade down my face as my eyes remained shut, replaying each and every single moment spent erasing the horrifying  incident. I drew in a big breath and let my lungs fill in with the hot air around me. 

My past started to revolve in front of my eyes for the billionth time now. Each night they haunt me, each morning they leave a trace of their evil existence from my nightmares for the whole day. I wish I could undo all the things I had done, because of my blinding drive for revenge and power. The feeling of victory which I was supposed to attain after the atrocious activity I committed never really emerged. It remained mysteriously quiet and loudly embedded in the folds of my brain, and I always found myself wondering why.

I free the caged breaths of my lungs and sigh deeply as the sinking feeling finally started to sink in. This place right here, the shower, the water dripping down, the walls, the only set of walls which never really felt suffocating, feels like a refuge. This is the place where I can be myself, own my mistakes and confront the ghosts of my haunting past.

But do I really confront them? Or should the question be like, do I really want to confront them? Memories are a bitch. You will forget the most important things in the world, but you would never be able to erase even the most miniscule details of something which you are dying to forget. They maintain their reputation of mirroring a tattoo etched in the depths of your miserable mind.

A chilling chill settled in me as the steam enveloped me in it's warm embrace. I lean against the cool tie, closing my eyes again letting the water wash over me, but can it really wash my stained soul? I regret my actions a lot, but I still hold my pride in them. The pool of blood around my hands, years ago gave me the fierce epiphany how I could do anything I wanted, had I put my mind to it. There was a strange sanity knowing that I had done something insane and how they deserved it, for stealing my own sanity. I dared to be different, I dared to let my impulsive thoughts take over my sane mind. But the epiphany was ephemeral.

A knock startled me from my thoughts as my eyes jolted open and my heart sank. "Who's that?" I asked, hearing the clear beats of my frantic heart. After a short while, came the reply. "It's me, Veronica, I have been sitting outside for an hour now, you good in there?"

I closed my eyes and leaned back dropping my hands. "Yeah I'm good, give me ten minutes" I said as she said no more. Sighing, I squeezed the water from my hair using the towel, hanging outside as I realised I stood under the shower with my clothes on. I took off my damp, soaking clothes and placed it on the sink as I quickly drapped a bathrobe and glanced towards the fogged up mirror.

Staring back at me was a girl with rosy cheeks, dry lips with a pair of dead, red swollen eyes. The demon in my eyes was still very much alive as I recollected how fast I got rid of the shattering evidence of my past, how quick my mind worked when it needed to act quickly to demolish a hidden activity. How can I be an angel that Eran perceives of me, how can I be that good innocent girl who has never been tainted by the world's deadly clutches of evil?

There was another knock on my door. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming" I say, opening the door.

Expressions of wary and horrid stretched across Veronica's face as she stared back at me with wide eyes. "Start talking" she says, as I roll my eyes. Squeezing the towel in my hair I continued to walk towards my mirror and saw my phone lighting up with a notification. I opened it and found five missed calls from Eran, as tears threatened to spill. "Boy problem?" asked Veronica, as I chuckled. I wish, it was something that trivial.

"I went out with Eran today and he treated me an ice cream that had peanuts in it" I say, my face betraying the words I just threw. "Oh, why didn't you tell him that you were allergic to it, or were you too lost in his company to even notice" replied Veronica as she slouched on the couch, clearing buying my story. I sometimes hated how no one could ever read my eyes, but also felt utterly grateful to the fact how I was so good in concealing my emotions. "The latter" I reply, turning back towards the mirror.

The redness around my eyes had started to disappear and I found myself wishing how if my past could disappear like that as well. But if that happened, I would have my mother and father beside me. I wish I had issues like not getting a book read, or forgetting to pay for the electricity and water bills, or feeling too languid to go to the gas station and refill my car, instead of worrying how to keep maintaining the cold around my frozen past, so that it doesn't melt.

"Wait a second, you guys met?" asked Veronica, realisation finally dawning on her beautiful facial expressions. "How else am I supposed to get an ice cream?" I replied back. "How did that even happen?" "we had a trivial fight and he came over to clear the air" "he came all the way over here, just to clear the air?" she asked, with her eyes getting more big. "They are gonna fall off, Veronica" I said, as she collected her fallen jaw from the floor as well. "What?" "Your eye balls" I said as she blinked, finally.

My stomach rumbled as she started to grin. "Want some sandwiches? I took some from Jenny" said Veronica. "Right, weren't you supposed to stay over at her place?" I asked, placing my phone on the charge. "Yeah, but then Hannah left, and the party started to die, so I asked Matt to drop me back home" she replied.

I simply nodded and stared into the distance. "Oh, did you hear about the criminal who managed to slip from the jail, last night?" asked Veronica as thick bile gathered in my throat. Clearing my throat, I pretended to look very unhinged. " Yeah, it's all over the news" I replied with my heart, heavy. She tucked a strand of brown hair lock behind her ear and looked at me. "They said that he was in for a life sentence, for committing multiple felonies" she adds, as I felt my lungs constricting.

I started to draw weird patterns using my finger tips on the satin pillowcase and nodded. "Like, how does that even happen? Aren't prisons supposed to be secure, like a freaking fortress?" she adds more. I really should say something but Veronica's scrutiny is becoming like a rope around my throat. I shrugged, trying to a sense out of my senseless condition. "I guess, there's always a way when there's a will, I guess he had help from the inside" I replied as Veronica's gaze finally shifted elsewhere.

Before she could reply, I got off the couch and walked towards the bed, fixing the pillows. It was about to hit dawn and sleep still felt like a stranger to my eyes. Veronica finally stretched and yawned as relief hit my senses that she was tired, and we didn't need to talk any further. She switched off the lights and lied down on the bed. Sparing one last glance towards the table where once lied the trace of my past, I leaned on my bed, letting the comfort of the mattress take me in.

"It's terrifying," said Veronica, as I mentally sighed to myself. "Yeah" I reply as she adds more. "What if he's nearby? We don't even know where he is. The police haven't released much information, yet"

My mind starts to race with all the different promising possibilities, each one unsettling than the last. "Chill, it's going to be okay. We live in a very safe neighbourhood" I reply as she huffs and turns her body towards mine. She starts to mumble something more, before slumber captures her and I sigh out of relief.

A knot of anxiety and tension settles tight in my chest. Someone, somewhere is sitting out there, knowing about my past. Someone, somewhere knows where I live, and somehow knew how to break in to my apartment and threaten me in my own room. Someone, somewhere is smiling thinking how he or she has succeeded in planting seeds of desperate fear deep in my heart and mind.

Chills make their existence known as my arms get invaded by ghostly goosebumps. I need to get to the bottom of it, I don't know how, but I'm ready to do whatever it needs to be done in order to keep my frozen past from melting. I close my eyes, as the darkness spreads.

That night, I dreamt of a certain someone's dimpled smile, silky hair and a chocolatey voice which said, 'Say something, love'