Now or Never

Chapter Six

Today is once against Visiting Day. The last day of stage one and a reminder to the initiates that they can't seem too attached to their families to show they really did choose Dauntless as their faction. They take the saying "faction before blood" a little too literal here.

Before I head to the train, I let myself into the training room to tell Tobias where I'm going. I know his plan for today-going to the training room and to Max's office-but the plan of me leaving to visit my brother was something I kept secret until now.

I'm welcomed by the sound of loud grunts and someone getting punched in the gut. There's just a momentary flashback of me getting punched in the face.

A few people glare, wondering who I am. Christina offers a little wave when our eyes meet; it's nice that they don't see me as a stranger anymore.

"Hey," I bump into Tobias. He's working, I know that. We just have a promise not to keep things from each other anymore.

He looks over at me with his instructor face, his arms crossed over his chest. "What are you doing here?" He asks, glancing towards Eric who eyes us at the same time.

"I wanted to let you know that I'm heading to Abnegation. They can't stop me from visiting my brother." I watch Edward body slam into his opponent, flinching at the yelp they make when a cracking noise sounds beneath them.

"Are you sure you should go? It's been a while since you visited. How do you know Ethan even wants to see you again?"

I stare at him with a bit of shock, a bit of anger. Did he not think I had a right to visit Ethan anymore? "Thanks for the support, Four."

"Mal" he sighs, but I'm already halfway across the room towards the doors. Right when I'm about to push, the door opens to allow Max inside.

Our bodies are inches from colliding but I'm quick to move out of the way.

"Oh, hello, Amalia" he grins down at me.

"Afternoon, sir" I match his grin. "I was just leaving."

He looks at the group, I can tell he connects to someone because he gives a slight nod. "I shouldn't keep you, have a nice Visiting Day." He walks off without another word, I push open the swinging door to put as much distance between us as I can.

...

I enter the busy Abnegation streets. There's a small cluster of color spread amongst the gray, but I'm the only one dressed in black. Though I shouldn't care anymore, my hair is put into the uniform knot I tied blindly on the train and my tattoos are covered by a long sweater and jacket. After all this time, I'm still afraid of what they'd think of me.

People glance at me as I walk towards the main building where the initiates wait for their families to visit, if they visit at all. Some people, like the Erudite, see this faction as an embarrassment. They wouldn't be caught dead within this sector.

The reunions at Dauntless are usually happy. There's laughs and smiles, the occasional tears. But here in Abnegation, the reunions are brief and quiet. Each family picks a space to talk in their low voices. I wonder what my and Ethan's will be like since we haven't talked in months. The last time was when I waited for him outside of the Second Levels building to get him alone. And only then we only had a few minutes to catch up.

But as time went on, he's slowly become more like a Stiff everyone sees them as. He talks in a monotone voice, our secret hugs are only for a few seconds when they used to last minutes. If he's changed more after being an initiate, maybe Tobias was right. How would I know if he'd actually want me here?