Now or Never

Chapter Sixteen

Today is the first day the initiates will be able to experience the fear landscape for themselves. Through Lauren's today, tomorrow their own.

I don't normally join in during the stage introductions, but I felt it was important to make myself known to the group again after experiencing a fear for the first time. Especially after the loss of another initiate.

I'm also curious to see how fast Tris can make it through a simulation when she doesn't have much of an advantage like before; everyone's aware they're in a simulation when they walk into this particular dark room.

As Lauren gives the list of things she was afraid of, I scan the group while leaning against the wall away from everyone else. A few look curious, others anxious to experience what's waiting for them behind that door. As the door opens and closes, I'm also a bit startled every time.

Amar told me my initiation year that you have to learn from your fears... I guess I'm still trying.

Lauren manages the syringes and the computer so Tobias can look over everyone, watching each initiate walk in and out. I join him while Peter's experiencing public humiliation.

"Hey," I mumble, trying not to look obvious.

He glances at me, his lips remaining in a line but his eyes are soft. "Hey," he greets, taking a step closer for our elbows to meet.

"Remember when this was us?" I think back to our first day.

"I think I prefer going through the simulations in the beginning of initiation rather than waiting for the end."

I nod. "I guess it helped knowing, gave a face to who I was really beating up during the fights."

He chuckles. "That's one way of seeing it."

Tris is next with her kidnapping simulation. I take a deep breath, worried of what they'll think of her finishing faster than the others.

Everyone watches her through the one-way mirror; how she's standing then after maybe twenty seconds, falls to the ground screaming. If I didn't know any better, I'd guess she changed the scenery all together. One that's too close to home.

"Stop," Tobias stands straight again, nodding to Lauren. She turns off the landscape and the lights flicker back on. We all see her look smaller than usual, hurt from what she experienced all over again.

Tobias lets himself into the room and pulls her body up, yelling at her. I know it's a way to help her, but I can't help but be taken back. He looks almost as angry as he did last night.

"Get yourself together. This is pathetic," he lets go of her once she's able to stand by herself.

Something in her shifts when it looks like she's staring back at us; she stops crying and pushes past Tobias, letting herself out without a look back.

"Should I go after her?" Uriah asks quietly, quiet for him, to Marlene. She shakes her head, sinking into the chair.

She's right, the best thing for Tris to do right now is cool off.

...

"You shouldn't be so nervous. It's not like you're going through the simulations any time soon," Shauna rolls her eyes at Zeke. It's dinner time now, Tobias is off making sure everything is set up for tomorrow.

"You're nervous too," Zeke scoffs, "you don't want Lynn to get low on the ranks either."

I sip my water, leaning on my elbows. "They're not slacking like how the two of you did," I hide my grin behind the cup.

Shauna throws a piece of bread at me. "We didn't slack off," she rolls her eyes, "we were just up against you and Four and Eric."

"I wasn't as good as them, I was just fast in the simulations. The fighting could've gone a whole lot worse," I shake my head.

"You're still a badass, though," she smirks now. I'm used to her mood swings.

"Thanks," I grin, "you are, too."

"I know," she bites into her food.

"I wonder how many Tris will have," Zeke wonders out loud, looking at the transfer table that has slowly morphed into an all-initiates table.

I look over too, Tris looks better than she did earlier. "If Four can get, well, four, and I can get eight, maybe she can get like nine or something."

"You Abnegations are weird, making us Dauntless look like chumps," Zeke pouts.

"Speak for yourself, I dominated that simulation," Shauna says it like it's a fact. And it is.

They get into another play fight, yelling but in a loving way. Whatever might happen after tomorrow, I know I'll miss times like this.

"Hey," Tobias sits in the spot beside me, sitting with his back towards the table so he's facing me.

"Everything's ready?" I ask with a grin.

He sighs and nods. "Yeah, but," he leans in close to my ear, "I made a plan for us to meet with Tris tonight. I think it's time to let her know what's going to happen."

I look at him with a nod, wishing I came up with that sooner. I guess I've been too preoccupied with everything else going on, I didn't think of actually telling Tris what's really happening here. She has a right to know- it's her faction too.

Tobias grins, pushing back a piece of hair behind my ear.

Whatever happens now, we'll do it all together.