Now or Never

Chapter Twenty One

I squint when I open my eyes to find a large lamp hanging over my head. I bring my heavy, pulsing head up to take in where I was brought; a small dark room, sitting in a chair covered in blood. My own, and my brother's.

The first thought I can think of makes me quiver: I'm an orphan.

It's unclear to where I am, I could be anywhere. But the simplicity of the dark room, no computers or something obvious to point out, tells me we're not in Erudite or Dauntless. Maybe we're still in the Abnegation Sector. I couldn't have been asleep for long.

I immediately start feeling a stinging on top of my head; my hand reaches up slowly to find my hair all sticky from my stained blood, the gushing liquid continues to flow down my cheek on top of the already dry blood.

How could I be so stupid to let this happen to me? Oh right, because I was tending to my dead brother. Who they killed.

Eric. Max. Jeanine. Eric. Max. Jeanine.

I try to look around the room more apart from the walls, to see if there's even a remotely small chance I could get out of here. But nothing. Nothing I can tell from a distance, anyways. My vision is still a bit blurry. But one thing does come clear, a camera staring directly at me. They're watching me. To study me like a lab rat.

I slowly raise myself from the chair, having to use the backboard for support but manage to stand upright after a few tries. I stumble a bit, but make it right in front of the camera.

"It's all your fault," I mumble in front of the small lens, "you killed my brother, for what? Is this just a game to you people? You're murderers. You murdered my last bit..." I trail off with more tears mixing with the blood. With whatever strength I have inside of me, I smack and punch the camera until it shatters. Little pieces fall to the ground, but I'm barely able to see the aftermath. The only light is hanging in the center of the room and still it only provides minimum lighting.

Now facing this direction of the room, I can see what was behind me the whole time. A short table with an object sitting in the middle.

Reluctantly, I walk over with a bit more stability. My head hurts more than anything, but I keep reminding myself the fight isn't over. Tobias is still out there.

When I'm in front of the table, all I can do is feel for the object since my body is blocking the light. I feel something smooth then a handle, I wrap my numb fingers around it and turn to see it's a knife. The exact one used at the Choosing Ceremonies.

"What is this?" I ask out loud, knowing no one will answer but it makes me feel calmer.

I try to think: there was a camera, they set me in a room with no visible entrance or exit, I wasn't tied down to a chair and they left a knife waiting for me.

It clicks. They want me to kill myself.

I walk under the lamp with the knife gripped in my hand, holding it up at an angle enough for the light's reflection to hit the walls. The worst part is... it wouldn't be the first time I thought about it...

"Fuck you for thinking I'd do anything remotely this idiotic for you people." I drop the knife and walk with reason over to the walls to feel for something. Anything that feels like a way out.

Each pound I slap into the wall matches each pound in my head. Part of me wishes to sit and sleep my pain away, but I need to find a way out. I need to keep going.

"Come on," I mumble to myself, slapping one wall panel then the next. It takes a few tries until one of the panels shows some light when I push into it. A door.

I slam my body into the wall, kicking and pushing. Tears stream as my head pounds louder and louder until all I can hear is ringing. But suddenly, a few popping noises come from outside the wall.

"Hey!" I yell, smacking the door again and again to whoever's out there. "Let me out! Let me out!" This time it's a pleading sob, the flow of blood migrates to running over my lips.

As I grow more tired, my body feels heavier and my sight goes blurrier. "Please," I plead, falling back against the wall and sinking to the floor

"Tobias," I mumble, still hitting the bottom of the door with my fist.

I don't remember falling asleep, but the next time I open my eyes, two people are pulling me back up. As my eyes adjust, I recognize the blonde girl and the Abnegation woman with bare arms. No Abnegation woman would ever show that much skin, I think to myself.

"Come on, Amalia. We need to get out of here," Natalie Prior coos to me, leading me out of the room. When my eyes open wider, the blurs fading away, I see a few dead guards lying awkwardly down the hall.

"But," I manage to walk on my own, "where's Tobias?" I look down at Tris. She's also wounded, a blood stain soaking the makeshift bandage around her shoulder.

She looks up at me with rage mixed with sorrow. "They took him."