Mavery

Thirty-eight

My memory went to a blur and the next thing i know is that i am drunk and so wasted. My phone kept on vibrating in my pocket but i did not care. I can't even forget Mavery even for a single second. As months, weeks, days, hours and even minutes passes, it's hurting me more. The more i get drunk the more i regret, the more i try to avoid the idea of losing her the more i cry. I cry every fucking night.

I was on my way out of the club when someone just intentionally spill a drink on me.

"Oops, are you Post Malone? Geez i heard you're so fucked up right now-" he did not manage to continue his sentence for i already had him hammered down on the floor.

"Do you want me to smash your face against this cold floor the way i do with guitars?" i whispered making him look scared. He looked at me for seconds then hurriedly stood up brushing the crowd away from his way towards the exit. I bit my lips and took my shirt off.

"Fucking-dickhead" i whispered feeling so pissed. I sat down to a couch and laid my head back, closing my eyes.

"You're really just gonna move on? How is that even possible? I can't even take you off my mind even for a split second." i sniffed away the crying feeling that's taking over me.

My phone started to vibrate again for a hundred time now. I just wanna give up. I can't live like this. I closed my eyes again resulting for more memories to playback inside my mind. I stood up not minding my still vibrating phone and head out of the bar.

I decided to go to the loneliest place i could ever be. "Our House. My house surprise." i whispered closing the front door behind me. The moment i made my first step, the beautiful memory with her here flashedback.        

---

I excitedly stood up beside the beatifully dressed table for her suprise. The thudding sound of her footsteps makes my heart jump. I can't even help smile.

Her mouth opened. I took my phone and immediately typed away. And it's for her again.

'Haven't i told you that i'm the coolest guy in the whole fucking world? :)'

She locked her screen and chuckled looking back at me. I pocketed my hands. "Found you." she said smiling so so wide. I opened my arms and she immediately but carefully ran to me throwing her hands around my neck.

"Me." i suddenly whispered. She looked up at me confused. "What?" she asked and i just shrugged. She knitted her eyebrows at me. I slowly slid my hands to grip her still tiny waist. She looked up at me, reading the emotions of my eyes. I felt my heart pounding inside me.

I leaned further to her face. "Never mind..." i whispered slowly pressing my lips on hers. I sighed, leaning my forehead on hers. "I gave you a clue and you dared forget to kiss me." i whispered.

She looked up at me. She moved her hands around my neck and slowly leaned in to feel my lips again.

"Fuck, I love you..." I whispered. She smiled and buried her face on my chest.

---

I was drained instantly, making me collapse on the floor, crying. I held my chest wishing i could even lessen the heaviness inside.

How am i suppose to go on... What else can i do to stop the pain?...

I took my wallet out and slid out my son's sonogram next to Mavery's.

"I even lost you too... Can you tell what Dad needs to do? hmm?..." i said crying harder.

---
"Dude, come on wake up!" Jason's voice echoed inside my head. I slowly opened my eyes trying my best to check if i am dreaming or not.

"Fucking wake up! You have no idea how many times i reached you! where were you?!" this time i see his face clearly.

I groaned sitting up. I looked at J then to where i am.

Shit i passed out here last night.

"W-what happened? I think my phone died." i said getting my phone from my pocket and tossing it to him.

"It's about Kyle and his wife." his voice suddenly turned into something i should worry about. "Wht about them?" i asked knitting my eyebrows standing up.

"They had an accident last night." my eyes widened the moment i heard those words. "Fucking what!?" i shouted straightly walking towards the door getting my keys from the floor.

I did not mind the darting pain in my head. "Post! You need to get home first." Jason hurried next to me.

"Fuck," i whispered remembering how wasted i looking i am right now. "Dre's waiting for you to get home. He'll tell you everything there. I need to do a re-run of your sched. You ruined them last night." he exclaimed.

"Stop with that already." i said getting inside of my car and started to drive fast to my house.

I hurriedly jogged inside and saw Dre sitting on the couch.

"Finafuckinglly." he spat standing up. Matt sighed looking at me. "We need to talk Austin." Dre said putting his hands to his sides. I bit my lips and made a light nod.

After taking a quick shower, i hurried back downstairs to finally hear things about Kyle.

"Look, Kyle and his wife are doing fine now. We can go and visit maybe later. Let's get into business first. I know that you had a really really tough matter for months now. And i am telling you we can't go on like this man... This is so unprofessional. This is not you... I care for you and you know that right?" he whispered tapping my shoulder.

I sighed and made a light nod. "That's why i am thinking if you should take a break. At least with the performing. It would be great for you to focus again with your writing Austin. Trust me, you need this. This would be all on you, if how long it will take or what. I have faith in you Post. I believe that this all would be over. Just-take this chance to heal. I need you, i need you back and we need you back." he added.

I did not even realized that i'm almost crying. I sniffed the tears away and gave him a light smile. "Okay, i'll do it. You don't know how thankful i am to have you all the time Dre. Thank you for understanding me even if i fuck up all the time." i said slightly chuckling.

He started to laugh but was immediately cut off by his ringing phone.

"Hello," he answered. I stood up but was stopped by the name he mouthed.

"Mavery?"

It's her.