Mavery

Thirty

I barely slept the whole night feeling so woeful and so alone. Austin didn't even text or call me. I stared at the sky through our big window as the sun finally rises up.

I took my phone from my stand hoping to see a text from Austin, or even from anyone. But still-nothing. Not a thing.

I groaned as i sat up, slowly making my way to the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, i went downstairs and felt how more algid the house without Austin, and the other guys.

As usual, i made myself a breakfast and tried my best to full myself. After all i still needed to be healthy. If i wasn't pregnant, i surely would be staying up all night on my bed.

I relaxed myself in the couch trying to distract my mind from what is happening. I need to be okay.

Moodswings sucks!

---

I almost fell off on the floor when i felt a palm on my forehead.  "Jesus-Kyle!" I groaned. He helped me up. "I thought you were sick or something, sorry." He apologized.

I brushed my eyes. "I am not and i'm okay". I whispered standing up. "Hey, uhm-i got you this... Well i mean i picked them from the store. And my guy there said he met you?" He said giving me another bouquet of flowers. "Terracotta". I whispered as i take it from him. "Woah, that's indeed a good memorizing skill". He chuckled.

"Thank you well t'was hard!" I forced a laugh. "Anyway, Austin called me and we have an appointment today". He said while i walk to the kitchen. "Really?", I whispered "I am glad that he told you that because he didn't even tell me." I said as i pour myself a glass of water.

"What? Are you serious?" He asked then my phone suddenly started to vibrate. "It's him." I said and he smiled. "I know okay." he let out a chuckle as he tossed himself on the couch.

"Hey babe," Austin whispered on the line. "I-i'm sorry about my attitude last time. I was just scared and worried. I hope you know it. I love you." He added. I sighed, "Yeah, i know. It won't happen again don't worry. I'm sorry if i went out i was just excited." I apologized as i slowly smile.

"What about the dream? I'm sorry, last night was hell tiring. We had couple of interviews i couldn't say no." He sighed. "It's okay, i'll tell you when you get home." I said.

"How's Terracotta?" I can tell he's smiling. "You always surprise me with beautiful things Austin, i love the flowers. Thank you so much." my heart wants to jump while i say those words.

"You deserve the world and you are beautiful too. You're the most beautiful thing in my world, and in this world..." He whispered as if pouting his lips.

"That's enough sweetness handsome guy!" i said as i laugh, feeling the heat on my cheeks.

"Mavery," his tone made my chest heavy.

"W-what?" i managed to say.

"Whatever happens, whatever people say and whatever your memory show you..." he cut himself and i can even tell he's almost crying.

"I-i... wanted you to know that i love you. That i loved you the moment i saw you." he finished and i surprisingly caught myself crying.

I'm in pain.

I feel pained everytime he tells me how much he loves me.

This isn't right.

What's wrong with me...

"Babe, i-i'm sorry. Uh-" i cut him off.

"Can i call you later?" i said blankly staring down silently crying.  I didn't even wait him to answer, i ended the line and sat on the island.

Minutes passed and i just came back to my mind when Kyle approached me.

"Everything okay??? You were like-" i interrupted him. "Let's get to my doctor." i said then i stood up, straightly walking upstairs to change clothes.

(On our way)

"Kyle," i suddenly broke the deafining silence. "Yes? What's up?" he answered gluing his eyes on the busy road. I looked at him and slightly smiled.

"I hope you don't mind, but did your wife felt overthinking about things? Did she suddenly felt this sad, then sadder the next day just-you know those types of issues that mostly-" he cut me off.

"Mavery, breathe." he chuckled.

I bit my lower lip and completely flattened my back on the seat.

"I can guarantee you, a hundred percent that what you're thinking right now is just some kind of hormone thing. Don't worry too much about things come on, Austin got you okay?" He said smiling so wide at me.

I didn't fought to smile as well. He's just a mood. And i needed those words right now.

"Are you positive about it?" i asked. "As i said, hundred percent," he answered with his shoulders gone up and down.

---

"So, you're remembering things?" my doctor asked.

"Yeah, and it happened once when i accidentally hit my head. I confirmed the memory with Austin but we haven't been fully talked about those issues." i said as i rub my belly.

"Well, remembering from having your head hit is something normal. And it is actually good that you're starting to remember things. It's been almost two months of sleep so we really should expect hardships on dealing with these kind of issues."

I sighed.

"So i'm normal."  he chuckled.

"Oh honey you're pretty normal. Like hey, you're so strong." He said.

After discussing about the discontinuation of my medications, and scheduling for a final check up, we're finally done.

"Thank you so much for today. I'm lucky to be under your care." I said as he help me stand up.

"Well thank you for being strong! You don't have an idea how my heart jumped when i saw you strongly waking up that time. I need patients like you." He said walking me to the door.

"Well, i'll help you wish they're all like me." i smiled. And before i walk out of his office, he said something instead of goodbye.

"And hey Mavery, memories came back through dreams as well."

My heart sank, those words made me feel even worse.

Dreams.