MARRIED, NOT DATING (Wheebyul ff)

12

Chapter 12 - Last conscience 

" Tell her all you did" 

" I can't"

" Don't let her know from others...Not from Dahee"

Moonbyul walked down the streets. Feeling lost, desperate, and a complete loser. Not from Dahee, Those words kept repeating on her mind while she walks without any direction. Letting her tears freely flow out of her eyes. She can't bear the guilt anymore. Like she was enlightened by the possibilities of losing her wife and her daughter. Like what she did to her. 

" You might lose your daughter Unnie" As she reminisced the event earlier slowly her eyes opened to the things she's been doing for her own liking. The things she's thinking was only lust. There's No so-called love with Dahee. It's only for her wife Wheein. " Lust can kill you, Love and have a good life with your family Unnie, Lee Dahee is not your wife not the person you presented to God. It's Wheein unnie..." Her feet lead her to run home. To where she has something to call her home. She sins a lot not for her to count but enough to break her wife's heart. She told her she had enough heartbreaks but why is she doing it to her secretly. 

Letting her feet run until she reaches home, She promises to go back home early so they can eat dinner like before. Sleep together in one bed. Cuddle until they say goodnight. Watch movie whole day. Eat chocolates and play piggyback rides. Moonbyul misses every day she has an opportunity to see her family. Just because of her little desire that folds back and forth. The days she sees her daughter smile fading hearing that she will leave them on the weekends. Her wife's pretentious smile kills her heart. Just because of her useless thinking that can lead her life to be miserable. 

She stopped at a memorable park adding up on her bad memories. The park where Jeongyeon set her up so that Wheein can see Gabriella. The park who they first saw each other for the first time in a while. At the center, she feels like shouting her lungs out. Since nobody is around and only her standing there. She looked up at the Moonlight hitting her space. "WHEEIN!~" She shouted as much as she could. Letting her anger to herself out. The times she wore a mask in front of her girlfriend to hide her true color is piercing her. "AAAHHH!!" The pictures of her wife being all considerate with all her useless and dumb reasons just to go to Dahee's Unit. The picture of her daughter running away from her, The bond they made is slowly collapsing in front of her face. Just to slap her to go back to reality. 

''''

Wheein's POV

" Mommy, Why is Daddy always late home?" I don't know to my angel. If she's busy or not. She doesn't know. Wheein lifted her daughter to make her fell asleep. Trying not to make her think of anything and hurt herself because of her dad. I hummed her favorite lullaby until I can feel her weight more indicating that she's already asleep. I laid her on her bed kissing her forehead before going back downstairs when I heard footsteps. 

Byul just arrived, without her car? I noticed that she has puffy eyes and walking dizzily. Did she cry? " Byul, What happened?" I asked her before she falls that gladly I immediately caught her. But her weight is no joke. " Don't leave me Wheein" I heard her beg, It was all of a sudden. I don't know what to tell her. She's sobbing on my shoulder. " Byul, what's wrong?" I asked her again but she didn't say anything in reply. She just hugged me tight sobbing really hard. I let her cry on my shoulder and will ask once she stopped. Why is she crying like this? Like she did something wrong that I don't know. 

After minutes, moonbyul finally stopped crying. But she's still hugging me and my body began to get stiff. " I'm selfish-" The first words Moonbyul said after she cried. No, I don't agree about it. She's not selfish in fact she is the best I know. She's the only one I dreamed of for. " You're not byul, I love you" Moonbyul slowly made her eyes on me. Like she was begging for the truth, but it's the truth. But...

I feel like I'm lying to myself, Her eyes gazing at me, It feels like she's showing me something I can't clearly see. 

" I love you more, Wheein" This feeling, I hate it, When she says those words. I feel like I have a reason to be mad. To be away from her. But I love her and that's what I want. 

''''

When the couple got settled to go to sleep together. Wheein felt new sleeping next to Moonbyul. Maybe because of wheein sleeping alone. Moonbyul turned off the lamp on her side before lying next to wheein facing back. Wheein knows her wife is next to her. But she feels alone. Because of space, they have in between. 

"Byul..." Wheein called, Moonbyul hummed in response even though she's not looking back to her wife beside her. " Are you hiding something from me?" Moonbyul was silent for a while. She knows she's being obvious but she can't turn back her fate in life if she already started. " Nothing, I just over-worked myself" Lie. Another lie that Wheein took herself and understand. There's no way Byul will do what she was thinking. She believes her wife and she will always believe her. 

It's her choice if she wanted to break it or not.