Tell Me You Love Me

Chapter 8

Sometimes the furture changes quickly and completely and we're left with only the choice of what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it, to stand there trembling not moving, assuming the worst that can happen or we step forward into the unknown and assume it will be brilliant.

-Christina Yang, Grey's Anatomy.

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Callies POV

I just stood there frozen. I can't believe what I just heard. Arizona is in love with me! I know I should go after her, but I won't know what to say. So instead I just stood there and watched her run upstairs crying. It took a few seconds until I realised I was crying as well. When I could finally move again I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, got my keys and walked out the house. I need air. 

"Im in the love with you Callie" The words keep going round and round in my head. I don't know how or what to feel. I have so many questions but I know, now isn't the right time, it will have to wait till the morning.

I carried on walking, replaying the whole conversation, until I decided it was time to head back home. When I got home I put Arizona's glass away and turned off the lights. I went upstairs and saw her door ajar. I carefully opened it, trying not to make any noise. She  was asleep on top of her duvet, I could see her face was shiny and her eyelids red, she clearly cried until she fell asleep. My heart broke at the sight.

I stood there for a few seconds just looking at her. Even with her wet face and red eyelids, she still looked beautiful. I picked up the blanket that was on her chair and gently put it over her. I took another look at her and quietly walked out,  shutting the door behind me. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, then got into my pjs and got into bed. Arizona's words still playing in my head.

I woke up with the light beaming through the window. I sighed as I picked up my phone to see the time, 9am. Urgh! My thoughts suddenly went back to Arizona and her words. I got up and stopped by her room, her door was open so I could see she wasnt in there. I went downstairs, nothing. No sign of her anywhere.

I got my phone and called her, it rang a few times but then it went to voicemail, she cut me off.

"where are you, we need to talk xx"

After sending the message I went back upstairs and got in the shower. Once I got out, I wrapped a towel around me and went back into my bedroom. Just then my phone went off letting me know I had  a message. I ran and picked it up.

Erica:
"hey babe, hope your okay today, will call you after work xxx"

Id be lying if I said I wasn't a  bit gutted  that it wasnt Arizona. I didn't bother replying, instead I tried ringing her again but like before it went to voicemail. I sighed and chucked my phone on my bed. I got dressed and headed downstairs. I made some coffee and cereal then sat at the dining table.

Throughout the day I tried and tried to get hold of Arizona but nothing. She wasn't answering or replying to my messages, its driving me mad. I even tried April and Lexi but they hadnt heard from her either. It's making me really worried. I've barely spoke to Erica today either, I just said I had some stuff going on and will speak to her tomorrow, Luckily she understood. But now it's 11pm, I was about to ring her again for like the 100th time when the front door opened. Without thinking I ran to her and hugged her my heart sunk when I didn't feel her hug back. I moved away and saw a sad hurtful expression covering her beautiful face.

"where have you been, why have you been ignoring me"

"I've been at my mums" fuck sake Callie why didn't I think of her mum!

"why have you been ignoring me all day, I've been worried sick" She didnt say anything, just walked past me and went into the kitchen. I followed her and watched in silence as she poured herself a glass of wine.

"Arizona talk to me" I begged.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said what I did last night, I was drunk" she says taking a sip of her wine.

"so you didn't mean it"

"no I meant it but you was never meant to find out"

"so what you was just going to keep it to yourself"

"yep"

"how long have you felt like this" I ask, taking a slow step towards her. She didn't answer.

"please I deserve some answers" she took a deep breath and looked at me.

"12 years, but I never realised until recently thats what I was feeling, I saw the way you was with Erica when she first turned up thats when I realised, then when you realised you liked women, thats when they become stronger, because I stupidly believed that with you liking women that there would be a chance of us, naive I know, but there you go" she looked away and downed the rest of the glass before pouring herself another.

"I don't know what to say"

"it's fine, it doesnt matter now anyway"

" it does matter" I sigh.

"it doesn't,  im going to go to bed now" with that she picked up her glass and walked past me but as she did I grabbed her arm causing her to stop.

She turned around and looked at me, our eyes suddenly locked and everything around us disappeared. All I could see was Arizona, the hurt tired sad Arizona and it broke my heart. Without thinking I quickly closed the gap between us and kissed her. I expected her to push me away but instead she kissed me back. I could taste the wine from her soft lips. I know I shouldn't be doing this its all kinds of wrong, but then why does it feel so right, more right then anything ever in my life.