Tell Me You Love Me

Chapter 19

If there's just one piece of advice I can give you, it's this, when there's something you really want, fight for it, don't give up, no matter hpw hapless it seems, and when you've lost hope- ask yourself in 10 years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot because the best things in life, they don't come free.

-Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

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Callie's POV

I sort of feel numb, seeing Erica, seeing how awful she looks and knowing that was all my fault. I walked into room and picked Erica's bag up from the chair in the corner of the room. As I walked to the door I saw the hoodie  she gave me that I would wear around the house. I picked it up and could still smell her on it, I could feel my eyes started to fill with tears and I put it in her bag. I took one more quick glance around my room making sure there wasn't anything else of hers.
I blinked away the tears and headed back down the stairs with Erica's bag in my hand. My heart pounding. I opened the door the rest of the way and handed Erica her bag. She took it from and me and began to walk away.

"Erica" I finally managed to get out. She stopped and turned around.

"I'm so so so sorry for all this" I say I could feel my eyes filling up again.

"I never meant to hurt you I really liked you, I still do...a lot . Me and Arizona....honestly I don't even know what's happening with us. It just sort of happened. I hate myself for hurting you If I could take it back I would, you made me realise who I am, being with you made me see clearly for the first time in my life, I don't want to lose you out of my life" I could see the hurt on her face and it broke my heart.

"Callie I...I can't do this, thanks for my stuff" before I could say anything she walked away

I stood there and watched her get into her car and drive away, tears still running down my face. I walked back into the house and shut the door. I turned around and saw Arizona stood there, a sad expression covering her face. Before I could say anything she ran passed me upstairs. I looked up after her confused as to what happened. It took me a few seconds until I ran up the stairs after her.

"Arizona" I whisper as I entered her room. She didn't say anything.

"Arizona" I repeat

"I thought you wanted this, i thought you wanted me" she cries. Oh shit, the penny dropped, she heard what I said to Erica.

"I do" I say

"just get out"

"no"

She stayed silent and sat on the bed. I made me may to her and sat next to her.

"yes I meant everything I said to her I'm not going to say I didn't. I really liked her Arizona, I still do and we only broke up yesterday, So you can't just expect me to be fine and get over what me and her had in 24 hours. All my life I always felt something was missing with me, like something wasn't quite right. Erica made me realise what that was, if it wasn't for her I would still be pretending to be someone I'm not. And yes I wish I could take last night back so that she didn't find out the way she did, because it hurts me knowing I've hurt her this way and I know you wont like what I just said but it's the truth. I want you Arizona believe me I do but you need to understand that Ive just come out of a relationship and yes you are all I need but I'm hurting and I need my best friend" I finish, tears running down her face. She stayed silent for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry, I guess I've just waited so long for you to be mine and I wanted to be that person that made you see clearly and realise who you are etc and its hurts that I'm not" she says

"I know and I am already yours" I smile taking her hand in mine.

"you've helped me more then you know, you're the person who made it so much easier to accept myself, I was so terrified when I started feeling things for Erica, you helped with that , I see how proud and confident you are with who you are and it's inspiring. I kept thinking to myself If Arizona can be like that then so can I. I You're the one who gave me the push I needed to get with Erica and if it wasn't for you I'd be in denial so please don't be sad or upset about what I said"

"okay"

"but I do think we should just take it slow okay? I dont want to rush into anything and ruin everything"

"bit late for late" she chuckled

"what do you mean" I quizzed

"I mean we've slept together a few times so I don't know how we can go slow from that"

"true" I laughed.

"starting now, no sex. This is new to both of us and I think we need to embrace it" I smile

"no sex" she gasped. I laughed before leaning towards her.

"I'll make it worth the wait" I whispered into her ear. Knowing that it would drive her crazy.

"I'm gonna get a shower" I chuckled as I walked out the bedroom, purposely shaking my bum on the way out.

I got in the shower and my mind started wondering, today as been such a rollacoaster of a day, my dad, Carina, Erica. I don't know what to think or feel about all this. My mind stopped on my dad and everything he said. I know he is religious but I'm his daughter surely that is more important, I just hope he comes around and accepts me for who I am.

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sorry for the wait busy busy with work etc more of a filler chapter this but hope you all enjoy it