You Are The Reason

McKenna

McKenna

I sat by myself once again on the train back to London, tears steadily streaming down my face. Seb had come with me to the train station to see me off, and I could tell he was doing his best to keep his own tears inside. He wanted so badly to keep a brave face in front of me, but I know he was hurting just as much as I was. The last two days had been the most beautiful days of my life. As much as I loved playing my music with the orchestra, I was starting to wonder if it was worth it anymore. I wanted to be with Seb more than anything in the world. I knew if I had to choose, there wouldn't be a moments hesitation. I'd choose Seb every time.

I had been hoping Seb would come back with me, but he had to stay behind to work on selling his shop. He was pretty sure Dave would be interested in buying the place, but if it turned out he wasn't, he wanted to work on getting it on the market as soon as possible. That meant he had to stay in Liverpool for a while longer. I started to bring Cello back with me so I wouldn't be completely alone, but I couldn't bear the thought of taking her away from Doom.

I was so relieved when the taxi pulled back up to my flat and there was no paparazzi waiting there to assault me with questions. I hurriedly made my way upstairs and plugged up my cell phone for the first time since I left to see Seb. As soon as the phone had enough charge to turn back on, I checked my messages. I had tons of voicemails. Mostly from my parents and friends from back home. I sent them all a quick text to let them know I was okay and I would call them later once my phone had charged. I also had several texts from Seb which made my heart swell inside my chest. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as I quickly opened the message.

Seb: You just stepped on the train and I feel like my heart is splitting in two. Oh, how I wish I was going back to London with you. I don't want to be parted from you for one moment. My arms feel so empty, but I know you will fill them once again very soon. I love you so much, McKenna.

Tears blurred my vision as I read his sweet words. Oh how I wish I were in his arms right now. He'd hold me and kiss me and make me feel like I'm the most cherished woman in the world. I laughed softly to myself. If only the world knew just how much of a softie Seb really was. I scrolled down to his next message.

Seb: So, you've been gone for maybe a hour now and I'm the most miserable I've ever been in my life. I don't know if I can take being apart from you. Doom and Cello keep hovering around my feet, looking up at me, their eyes filled with questions. 'Where is mommy?' I know they miss you too. I'm getting ready to head to the shop to talk to Dave now. I'm hoping and praying he'll want to buy the shop and I won't have to put it on the market. If that happens I honestly don't know what I'll do. This is torture. 😢

I wipe at the tears that are streaming down my face again. Part of me wants to turn around and go right back to the train station, but I know I cannot. Practice starts again tomorrow for our shows this weekend and I can't let my orchestra family down. I take a deep breath and begin to type a message back to him.

McKenna: I just walked back into my apartment and read your messages and I'm crying again. Oh how I miss you already. 😭 I wish I was still laying in your arms while you kiss away my fears. I love you so very much, Sebastian. I hope and pray everything works out and you are back with me soon. Until then, know you are always on my mind and forever loved in my heart. 😘

I sigh heavily as I sit my phone down and head to my bathroom to take a shower. When I emerge from the bathroom, I see I've had three missed calls from Elladine and several texts.