You Are The Reason

Seb

Seb

               What the actual fuck? Did I just hear what I think I heard? I was the one McKenna wanted from the start. My heart is beating so fast I swear I feel like I'm about to pass out. I want to look at her, I'm desperate to, but I'm afraid of what I'll see in her eyes. Does she still feel the same? I continue to watch the screen, unable to tear my eyes away.

               Then the screen cuts away from her confessional and shows us at the cocktail party after the challenge. Viv took Harry from her and she pulled me aside to talk. I watch the screen intensely. I'm mentally kicking myself in the ass. Could I have possibly misread the situation? Looking at it now, it's obvious she was into me. But there I am being a daft prick for the whole world to see. I shift nervously beside her, unsure what I should do next. The telly grabs my attention again when it shows McKenna once more in the beach hut. I lean forward as I concentrate on what she says next.

"So, everyone is going to think all I do is complain, but I can't exactly vent to Seb since he's who I need to vent about. He's really the only person I've felt a genuine connection to since I arrived at the Villa. I know it's only been a few hours, but I'm so attracted to him. I think we have such a good chance to really connect on that deeper level. A level that could possibly lead to something really special." McKenna put her face in her hands for a moment, then looked up to the camera, her eyes glistening with tears. "However, he obviously doesn't feel the same. Seb has totally friend zoned me. He's made it clear that he's not interested in me romantically!" McKenna laughs bitterly, "Is it too late for me to get out of this?" She sighs heavily and remains silent for a moment, then she turns back to the camera. "Screw this! I'm not going to give up. I came here to find love. If Seb's not interested, then I just need to look elsewhere right? I mean, it truly sucks for me that I don't really have a connection with anyone else here but him, but there will be other guys coming in eventually. I just have to bide my time and keep my head up."

               I slowly reached for the remote and turned off the telly. My head was spinning. What do I do now? What do I say? Is it possible she could still feel the same way about me? Had I lost my chance with her? I turn towards her and she still stared straight ahead at the now black telly screen. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, she was turning to face me. Slowly she lifted her eyes to mine and my breath caught in my throat. Did I dare believe it? Was that desire I saw in the deep blue depths of her eyes?

"Seb?" she whispered breathlessly. Before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped my hand around her slender throat and pulled her face to mine. I wanted to be soft and gentle with her, after all this was our first kiss, but all the feelings and passion I had kept inside for her had been building for too long. I couldn't control myself. I felt as if I could devour her. She tasted so fucking good, too damn good, and I couldn't reign myself in. To my surprise, her passion seemed to match my own. She kissed me back, her hands finding their way underneath the t-shirt I was wearing. Her nails raked down my back, sending a delicious jolt of pleasure straight to my dick. I was hard immediately, and I moaned against her sweet lips as she quickly straddled me on the couch. I could feel the heat from her as she ground her hips against mine. My hands found their way underneath her shirt, caressing the smooth skin underneath. I wanted her so badly. I wanted nothing more than to take her to my bed and bury myself deep inside her, worshiping her over and over again until neither of us could move. But as much as I desperately wanted her, I couldn't go any further until we talked about where we were. I knew she wanted me, I could even smell her arousal, but I was not going to take her to my bed until I knew for sure she wasn't doing this as a rebound thing. I want her in my bed because she wants me, she chooses me, and not for any other reason. With an agonizing groan,

"It's taking all of my will power not to pick you up and take you to my bed." I saw delight and passion flare in her eyes as she looked down at me from where she still sat perched on my lap. She rocked her hips against my hard on and I felt my eyes roll back from the pleasure.

"Why don't you?" She leaned down and kissed me again, pulling my bottom lip into her mouth, nibbling on it for a split second before releasing it with a seductive grin.

"I have to know something first." I was fighting hard to keep my head on straight. What she was doing to me was completely unfair, and it was taking every bit of strength I had to not say fuck it and take her to my bed without the answers I was seeking. I closed my eyes for a moment, then looked up at her. "I have to know it's me you truly want." She smiled down at me and my heart felt as though it would burst.

"Can you not tell how much I want you?" She smirked down at me, and she'd never looked sexier. "If you can't, then I'm not doing it right..."

"Trust me, you're doing everything right, Ken. I want you so badly, but I'm not going to take you to my bed unless I know it's me you want. And I don't mean just for a fucking epic shag." Her brow furrowed as if she was confused and my heart sank. Would I be able to survive if she walked away from me? I lowered my gaze, unable to look at her. I couldn't bear seeing the rejection. She pulled my face back up to hers and she gently kissed my lips. The passion that had once been there replaced by tenderness. Her soft hands held my face as her tongue gently stroked my lips. My hands wound around her pulling her closer to my chest before I buried them in her beautiful hair. She pulled away just enough so she could look me in the eyes.