Dancing in the Dark ✓

23 | sasha

The librarian watched me with a frown. I met her disapproving gaze tiredly. 

She cleared her throat. "Usually I would encourage you to stay in here and escape reality, love, but it is snowing outside and your man might get frostbite." 

I sighed. "Fictional characters are so much easier."

"But it can't really replace real relationships we make, can it?"

I didn't bother debating, proceeding to wrap my winter coat tighter around me as I trudged outside, snow floating down around me. 

Theo stood leaning against his car, arms crossed casually, but he looked like he was freezing. The thought made me walk up towards him much quicker than I would have liked, but I stopped a careful distance away.

He tried to smile. "Sasha Li."

I struggled to keep the emotion out of my voice. "You should go home."

"I should," he relented. "But I can't."

I raised my eyebrows. "Did your car break down?"

He ran a hand through his hand restlessly. "No, it didn't. But Sasha, I can't just go home and not worry about you."

I sighed. "See, this is why I don't get close to people."

"Don't say that," he interrupted somewhat harshly, which took me aback. "I'd understand if you just need space, and I promise I'll go right after this, but please don't shoulder everything by yourself."

"You know," I protested. "You know I can't just let you in --"

"Have you not?" He asked quietly, taking a step towards me.

I stilled. Seeing that I made no move to stop him, he continued to walk slowly towards me, closing the gap between us. My heart hammered in my chest.

He now stood in front of me, so close he could murmur. "Throughout the past few weeks I've gotten to know you, I've learnt so much. The silent sacrifices you make for people you care about, the disguising of your care with sarcasm. The way you always walk at the back of a group to make sure no one's getting left out. The determination in everything that you do."

My throat was suddenly very dry, and I was all too aware of the heat radiating off him. I didn't dare breathe. Since when had he started watching me so closely?

He swallowed, and released a shaky breath. "Sometimes, you look at me in a certain way, like right now. I can't quite name what it is, but you make me feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world to be looked at like that."

"You do it too," I blurted out, a little accusingly. "You look at me like that."

The real question was, when had I started watching him that closely too?

I spun on my heel abruptly and began walking back to the library. "I need to get back to my book." 

His hurried footsteps sounded from behind me. "Sasha, please wait. You can't just say that and walk away."

I sped up my pace, embarrassment heating my cheeks. 

"Sasha. I'm sorry I scared you away again. But please, let me finish?" 

That stopped me in my tracks. He stopped in front of me to face me directly. "I'm sorry if this came from out of the blue. I don't joke around when it comes to feelings, so I was trying to hold off on telling you so that I didn't spring it on you too early. I know you're scared of letting someone into your space, but you've been in mine for a while now, and I'm scared of losing you, Sasha. You don't have to feel the same way for me, but please don't just disappear on me? I'll get over this on my own end so that you won't feel awkward around me after this --"