𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙜𝙤𝙙𝙨 | 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰𝘶 𝘹 𝘬𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 |

fridays

!!TW: drowning. it's a pretty detailed description, so skip the italics if you don't feel comfortable with that!!

the cold water surrounding you was the only thing you could recognise to be true in the darkness of the night.

your limbs were numb. you realised that when you desperately tried flailing them around to assert some sort of dominance over the raging ocean. you don’t remember a thing before this. maybe you were being chased around. maybe you fell. maybe you were tossed in the water. that seemed so secondary now. so minuscule against the size of the sea you found yourself in.

trying to scream, you opened your mouth, but your voice got easily replaced by saltwater. it flowed down your throat, slowly but surely leading itself in your trachea, and then finally settling in your lungs, leaving an unpleasant burn in its wake. a gargle left your lips, and you realized your ache was not going to stop until there was no oxygen left in your lungs.

with a final look at the night sky (oh, how pretty it was tonight, you wondered why atlas ever complained about holding up the greatest painting of them all), you shut your eyes and accepted your fate. your salty tears mixed with the never ending water, and with a final bubble of air, you deemed the pain you felt as almost sweet, the last feeling you would ever have to experience.

-

you woke up with a gasp, cold sweat coating your forehead. it took you a moment to realise you were, in fact, in your dorm room, safe under your covers. most nights were filled with dreams of your doom, or some kind of tragedy, with you always waking up in a state of panic.

this one was different, though. the wine-coloured sea felt so real against your skin, that sodium filled asphyxiation being present on your tastebuds stil.

for a second, you wondered if you should cry, if you should allow your hurt to evaporate along with your tears, but in the end you decided against it. your chest felt too hollow, like there was an empty space that wasn’t there when you fell asleep. it felt as though you had been devoid of any emotion other than complete and utter sadness, the type that eats away at your soul, little by little.

you glanced at your window. it was still dark out, which meant you had some more time to fall asleep. you didn’t know if you’d be able to, though, the terror of seeing the outcome of your nightmare present in your mind.

turning your phone on, the time showed the numbers 4:18 am. way too early to get up, but you knew you had to at least try to get some more sleep. with a groan you decided to send a text.

me:
you up?

its mental illness innit:
no

me:
oh okay

its mental illness innit:
you're gonna say what's bothering
you or…?

me:
I just had a nightmare

you waited for a couple of moments until you realised shinsou wasn’t going to answer to your last text. you didn’t think much of it, though. it was like him to leave you on read, especially if he was busy or, like right now, plagued by his insomnia. you made a mental note to buy him some melatonin when you had the time, since he would never buy it for himself.

a knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts and with a few steps your hand was on the nob, turning it slowly so as not to cause any noise. your eyes met with two violet ones, tired as ever. you gave him a weak smile and let him in.