𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙜𝙤𝙙𝙨 | 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰𝘶 𝘹 𝘬𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 |

why they were free

 you could only see static when you closed your eyes.

it wasn't a peaceful night, far from it. a few days after your talk with shinsou, weeks of bakugou being cold and unapproachable, and a few hours after kirishima's text informing you of his arrival in the morning that had caught you off guard.

you were not ready to see him, and that wasn't because you didn't miss him, far from it. truthfully, reality had set into your bones in a much harsher way than you had hoped for, blocking you from thinking anything else but the bet you had made – one you were almost sure you were going to lose.

because now, after getting off your adrenaline rush and having thought about it a bit more, you had come to the conclusion that yes, a lot of things could go wrong indeed.

how do you stroll up to your friends, who everyone knows are dating, and casually confess to both of them – at the same time? and if that wasn't enough, and let's say, you have a death wish (read: a bet with your best friend) you will have to figure out the time, setting, and the closest escape route in case you need to dodge an explosion from popping your face off, all within about two weeks or less.

at least, you thought in your haze between being half awake and half asleep, you had accepted your feelings. at the very least you had managed to come to terms with the fact that not only were you an idiot, you were an idiot with a crush on two guys from your class who are dating each other and seemed perfectly happy with keeping it that way (one of which had grown to hate you for reasons unknown). yeah. at the very least you had accepted that.

you couldn't help it, though. in a way, that reassured you. there were some things that you simply couldn't control, and as annoying as this revelation was, it was equal parts peaceful. you couldn't help if fate, or the universe, or a higher being with powers much more grandiose than yours decided to lead you to this predicament: of your heart aching and swelling, all at the same time, all in the name of romance. you could just sit back and endure it, or you could do something about it.

and, well, you were going to do something about it – with or without a ticking clock above your head. you wouldn't be the type of person to ponder on what ifs and if onlys, just to regret everything years later, even if taking the first step forward scared you more than you would ever admit.

sighing, you thought back to keigo and that talk you had in his office. you didn't get it at first – how could you, after all – but you thought you did now; to love someone is to free yourself.

why had you held yourself locked up in a cage of your own inhibitions for all these years? why had you been so fixated on other people's freedom when you could be working towards your own instead?

it infuriated you.

the incessant line of questioning that inevitably followed lead you to one final question, one you would visit often without ever being able to solve your self-imposed riddle:

why were the greek gods free? and why on earth couldn't you be?

now, the answer was simple, irritably so, like when you're looking for something only to realize it was right in front of your eyes: immortality doesn't allow anything to hold you back. when you're immortal you shed, you tear from yourself all the things that could stop you from fully living, from being truly free. life is the only thing you'll ever know, after all.

mortality, on the other hand, has only one constant that relieves you, frees you from previous pain, no matter how big or small: death. gods don't have that luxury. they simply can not wish to one day alleviate the pain they caused themselves.

the greek gods were free because they didn't have the luxury of being mortal.

keigo was free because he didn't have the luxury to think about it twice.