A Dream come true

Phil's POV

My breaths quickly sped up as the train announcers voice boomed over the tannoy systems and informed the passengers we'd be arriving at Shrewsbury station in approximately 5 minutes. As I'd spent the entire journey planning out exactly what my response to any venom my snake of a father would spit at me in his feeble apology. However, every time my brain attempted to wander off I was always filled with different sentences he would conjure to make me feel either instantly better or a lot worse. He had a way with words; he could twist them in ways that would make you believe every blatant lie that tumbled out of his mouth. I guess that's why I'd felt so terrible after he'd shot me down with homophobia: he'd stated every word as if it was a fact and I'd believed all of it. I cursed myself for letting him throw me violently into a downward spiral but quickly pushed those memories from me and focused on the fact my stop was coming up pretty quickly. Rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans and tried to steady my breathing and quieten my uncertain thoughts.

"This stop is Shrewsbury station. Please exit the train calmly and Thank You for travelling," a high pitched voice sweetly echoed through the carriages.

"Shit," I quietly mumbled to myself as I got caught in the gaggle of passengers late for work or dinner dates.

One I'd finally made it out of the train I practically ran to the toilets. I never usually use the ones in the stations due to the intense smell of stale pee and rotting man smell that lingered in your nose for hours afterwards but this time I was desperate. Not as in desperate for the toilet, as in, I just really need to get away from the crowds of commuters that were buzzing around me like swarming bees. Relief flooded over me when I noticed the disabled toilets were free. Quickly darting into them and locking the door behind me I let out the sigh I'd been holding in the entire time.

"You can do this Phil. It's just a talk," I whispered to myself as I rested my back against the cold tiles of the wall and my knees bent of their own accord.

We'd arranged to meet in a coffee shop just down the road but at this moment in time I was unsure as to whether my legs could manage that far.

Why am I getting so worked up? He's apologizing. That's a good thing.

"You can do this," I repeated as my sweaty palm landed on the door handle and in a moment of madness swung opened the door.

From there on out my body seemed to be moving independently from where my brain was telling it too go. I wanted to go home. I wanted to curl up on the couch next to Dan and watch films; why then, was I propelling myself to meet my father in a Starbucks down the road.

***

I spotted him instantly and watched as he waved me over. I tried not to let any type of emotion register on my face, he couldn't know I was happy to see him. If he did he could use it against me in some way and things would go horribly.

"Hey s--" he stopped himself from saying 'son' after I'd expressed my immediate hate for it when he'd tried it on the phone but corrected himself to awkwardly to, "Hey Phil."

I formally replied with a stern, "hello," before taking my coat of and sitting down.

Instead of doing the expected and launching into his whole speech he waited politely for me to initiate the conversation with his arms folded neatly at his front and slightly balanced on the table, a slight smile tugging at his lips and his eyebrows raised and eyes widened.

"You said you needed to talk with me. I'm here start talking," I ordered.

He waited momentarily to check I was being serious and allowing him to speak with out interruption but I waved my hand and gestured for him to start.

"I had long talks with other people about you being gay. I've told almost everyone..."

Anger pulsed through me as he spoke those words.

"You outed me to people straight after you rejected me? God, how could you stoop so low? You knew that was hard for me to-" i began but was cut off with "Only after you had! Your video went up and I thought it acceptable to talk about it too others."

Oh. I guess he's not completely cold hearted then.

"Fine. Continue."

"I'd told quite a lot of people and almost every single one of them had said the same thing. 'Just accept it.' For a while I told them they were all talking shite. You see, I was raised against you lot. Sorry, um, against gays. It was just how the world was back then. And you know me, I don't really enjoy things changing. Anyways, after a while I started wondering if accepting you was the right thing to do. After conjuring up ways to change you, some even so ridiculous they're illegal, I decided changing you was out of the question. So that meant I had to change myself. You're my son. My own flesh and blood. I accept you son. It's okay."

Emotions ran through my head; some flying back out of the other side and not even giving my brain a chance to process what I was feeling. What was I feeling?

Anger: was it okay that he could tell me he'd had to think about practically torturing me to change his mind.

Relief: he now accepted me as a gay male.

Confusion: was this him asking for acceptance as a father or just throwing some sort of apology in my direction?

Surprise: he now accepted me as a gay male.

He now accepted me as a gay male.

He now accepted me as a gay male.

He now accepted me as a gay male.

"I don't know where to start," I told him honestly, "I'm kind of overwhelmed. It's weird for me to forgive you because some of the things tore me apart Dad, they really did but-"

"I'm so sorry," he interjected but I held up a my finger and gestured for him to be quiet.

"However, I just think that what you've said was too much of an actual mess for you not to mean every word. You're never normally honest so tell me now: did you mean all that? Do you accept me as a gay male."

"I don't accept you as a gay male. I accept you as my son, and every bit of baggage that comes along with that."

A/N-- well this was an emotional rollercoaster. Whatever. ACCEPTANCE YAY! Thank you for reading this. It really does mean the world to see all you're comments and likes and just in genral to see that something I have created is in some form impactful in someones life. Even if not in a huge way just a little laugh or even just a smile. It honestly means so much. OKAY SOPPINESS ASIDE. Holla for ya'll not at playlist bc I've seen all the photos and live streams and I would like someone to pray for us not there. BUT if you were there, I hope you had amazing time and I hope you all met who you wanted to and witnessed things you wanted and looked beautiful (as per usual) in your selfies with your faves. Thank you again for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this one. SPOLIER ALERT: There will be intense fluff and cuteness coming up on Tuesday and Wednesday so pls prepare for something big to happen! OOOO what will it be??? Who knows??? BYEEE.