A Dream come true

Phil's POV

*timeskip to next day*

"Hey Phil," Dan called as he entered the lounge.
Yes, I fell asleep on the couch and yes is was because i refused to manoeuvre my crying, lifeless form more than half an inch after yesterday's events.
Dan's eyes raked over my body and I saw that he was contemplating what to do with me... but what could he do? I was a mess. A horrible, disappointing mess. I'd tried not to let his words get to me; I really tried and tried but as I'd laid there in swirling in the abyss of my own demons it seemed impossible to avoid. My dad hates me. My own father, the one who gave me life, would rather me dead than gay. And that is the one thought that will haunt me. He wants me dead for attempting to accept myself but how can I accept myself fully if my own dad can't accept me.

"It'll be okay Phil, you know it will," Dan attempted to persuade me. How? How could any of this possibly be okay? And how could he think that I knew it would be?

"Will it? Will it really?" I asked in my breathless monotone voice.

All my hope and motivation had been washed away and replaced with.... nothingness. I had been reduced into just a shell- no personality, no likes or dislikes- just a shell to host all of the terrible emotions that were conjuring inside my person at this very moment. I didn't even know what to feel due to the overflowing amount of thoughts disintegrating my happiness. I just felt empty.

"Yes. and you know how I know it'll be okay?" Dan encouraged moving closer towards me, kneeling in front of the couch and looking me in the eyes.

"How?"
"Because you are the strongest person I know."
I really wanted to believe him; believe that this is something I could just brush off and ignore but I just knew I couldn't.
"Not anymore," I whispered, "maybe once before but not anymore."

Dan sighed loudly and looked down at the floor and for a moment I actually thought he'd given up but who was I kidding. Most of the time it was physically impossible to give up even in a game of bloody monopoly.

"Remember when we first met?"
"Um, yeah?" I was curious as to where he was going with this.
"Well remember a few months before that when I was really sad because of that thing?"

I knew Dan was referring to the 'big breakup.' Months prior to our first ever in real life meeting Dan and his girlfriend had broken up-- he'd been devastated. I still fully don't know her reasons but all I do know was that for ages after that Dan was never the same. He need guidance to convince himself to get out of bed in the morning, practically everyday I had to ring him to tell him to eat something or to go out and get some fresh air; sometimes I'd even Skype him at 2am just to calm him down and stop him from crying.

"Of course I remember Dan." I replied.

"Well then, as you never gave up on me and were there for me the entire time, what an earth makes you think that I would ever make sure it didn't end up okay?"

And then I started crying again. I don't even know why this time. He'd said such nice things: such nice comforting things and here I was blubbering like a baby into his shoulder again.

"Sorry," I sobbed into him.

He pulled back and with each hand on my shoulder, held me at arms length and locked our gazes.

"Don't you dare apologise for having feelings because right now crying is the most important thing that you do. It lets me know that even though you're sad you're still possible to feel something and at the moment that is the most important thing to me... ever. Okay? You got that?"

I just nodded and collapsed my face into his shoulder yet again.

***

"So phil you know how you've been all sad and shit?" Dan asked while handing me the lion bar he's specifically went out to buy me.

"Well, yeah?" I replied questioningly.

"Why don't we do a Phil is not on fire today? What could cheer you up more than sharpie fumes and answering questions from strangers on the Internet?"

"I don't know Dan, I don't think it'll be good if I'm in this state." I said.

And I knew I was right. How could I push this to the side as if it were all some hilarious joke and discard the facts to draw bloody cat whiskers on my face in permanent marker. Fair enough, they'd been practically the Dan and Phil logo since our first ever video together but I just wasn't really feeling up to it right now.

"Well, if you're sure," he said hopefully.
"I'm sure."
"Okay but we do need to do it soon and I promise it will make you feel better."
"Pinky promise?" I asked still living up the childish tradition and holding up my pinky finger.

Dan wrapped his pinky finger round mine, nodded and repeated, "pinky promise."

A/N-- okay cool so I know this one is a bit short but incorporating pinof into it had to come some how and I chose like this. not really anything to update you guys on so let's just have a chat. I started watching the Walking Dead. Have any of ya'll ever seen it and what did you think of it? Ok hope you're enjoying the fic so far even though I may have been slacking on updating chapters but I had exams so studying was all over the fucking place. Plus I've had no wifi for the past 3 days which has been terrible ok ok ramble ramble--like comment share whatever floats your goat byeee