A Dream come true

Phil's POV

A month.

A month was all it took for me to vision myself as ready.

However, that may be due to the time prior to my confession to Dan, I hadn't stopped thinking about it. I'd been ready for so long I'd just never been given the situation or the time to do so. With the whole 'drunken confession' it hadn't exactly been convinent but it had been comfertable and that was what was important.

To be competly honest, Dan was the only person I actually had to build myself up to confess to. Now, obviously, I understand he was the wrong person to be worried about but nevertheless: I was ready.

As I set up my camera equiptment my heart was beating fast but on the outside I was fully composed. My inhales and exhales matched the pounding in the back of my head but I tried to ignore them on what was currently happening. I ran through my already scripted video in my head. I hadn't written it down because I wanted it to be completly truthful but I had planned out the run up. You know, the whole introduction and the bits leading up to the actually speaking the words "I'm gay." However, from there on out, there was nothing else I had in mind.

Why did I have to explain it? It was a fact. Not a discussion.

I was assembling and disassembling different sentences in my head and wondering which order it should go in. All I felt I had to say after the actual admintion is the "this won't change anything" so that's the basis I worked on but by the the time I'd sat down on my bed, I was yet to summon the words to project my feelings.

I guess I would just have to make it up.

And then the camera was rolling.

It took me a few seconds for me to even get the courage to speak the words "Hey guys," but once those words tumbled out of my mouth, I dropped my fake cheeriness and suddenly my words were re-enforced with a serious tone and a stern look.

"I'm sure the title gives it away, but just in case it doesn't," I in took a large breath and braced myself for the words, "I'm gay."

All over again it was like a dead weight had been lifted from my consciousness and I felt like after this video I would have a lot less emotional baggage.

"That may come a shock to some, or maybe not for others, but I had to tell you guys. It was something I couldn't keep under wraps for much longer so here I am, coming out."

I was beginning to get into the swing of things. The words flowing more easily not that I'd stated the intent of the video. I was improvising but everything I was saying just seemed to fit perfectly. It was truthful. It was sincere.

"I hope you all understand this doesn't change anything, I'm still good, old Phil. The same as I always will be. It's just another asset to my person, not to my personality."

And I truly believed every word I was saying.

I was more than aware that this wouldn't be plain sailing for me and that I would come across the occasional hate comment but that was no less to what I experienced now and I didn't lose sleep over them so why should I worry about a few idiotic homophobic fools.

"I know this video is all serious but do not fear, I will be back to telling stories about the weird people I attract and animals that attack me next time. Bye Guys."

Letting out a huge sigh of alleviation I felt the tears accumulate in my eyes.

Why am I crying? This is good.But I think that's why I was crying.

I'd lived this huge lie for 27 years and now it was finally lifted from me. It was like I'd been wearing a mask my entire life and now I'd finally lifted my mask and revealed my true self.

The tears rolled down my cheeks and I heard Dan's footsteps up the stairs (probably coming to  check if I was okay) and suddenly he was standing in my doorway.

I looked up at him. He assessed my tear stained cheeks and a smile broke out on my face as he rushed towards me.

"Oh my god. Are you okay?" he asked, concern gracing his voice.

"Yeah, actually I am." I replied wrapping my arms around him as he hugged me.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Happy tears." I whispered into his ear and I heard him let out a breath he was holding in.

"Good." he whispered back and rested his head on my shoulder, nusseling him face into my neck.

We stayed that way for a while, about 5 minutes actually, until I pulled away and reminded Dan that I hadn't yet turned off the camera. He moved away and gave me a slight smile before leaving the room. I turned off the camera and stood in the same spot with a huge grin on my face.

I did it.

I actually did it.

I confessed to the internet.

Now all that was left was to edit and upload.

A/N-- 5K READS!!! THAT IS AMAZING. Thank you guys so much for reading, it really makes my day when I see your comments/like to know that you're enjoying it all. So for that thank you. This chapter was kind of rushed because I wanted to get it up soon to make up for the previous delay. I think I'll upload the next one tomorrow (a lot happens in that one) so stay tuned. Okay I think that's all I have to say exept from another THANK YOU. I hope you enjoyed this one and BYEEE!