The car journey home was long and silent. The conversation didn't ring out loud and cheerful like our usual discussions; it was more random comments, drowned out by Radio 1 playing loudly. The music was a getaway for both of us. It meant we didn't have to communicate properly, we could just sit in bliss as the familiar songs filled our ears.
***
When we reached our house Phil fumbled with the keys before finding the correct one; it always baffled me why he had that many keys. He walked through the door first and I followed, practically slamming the door behind me. He wandered into the living room and when I mirrored him he sat down on the couch. Looking expectantly at me I think he wanted me to say something.
I sat on the opposite couch and copied his stance. He was sat forward on the sofa cushions and his legs were spread and different angles. Elbows rested on his knees and his hands sprawling down his thighs. He was hunched over and his face was plastered with a questioning expression: his eyebrows knitted together and his lips parted; heavy breaths escaping him as his eyes were locked with mine.
"We- we need to talk." he stuttered with a nervousness filling his tone.
How do I meet that? Here he was attempting to open up to me over something as big as being gay and I didn't even know how to hold myself in a comfortable manner.
My palms grew sweaty as I rubbed them together and my mind grew weak as I searched for the right response.
"Yeah, we do." I decided was the best response.
I knew this wasn't a thing that could be mulled over lightly. It needed discussion. He might not even recall himself saying it. He might think we need to talk about something else. Plus, he doesn't even know that I remember so it's extra pressure for him; like he's telling me from scratch.
"So, do you remember anything from last night?"
"Yes." I answered bluntly.This meant he must have recalled telling me something from last night and I guess it was the biggest bomb of the night.
"Which bits?"
Realising he was trying to make me say it so he could lead on from it instead of just outright saying it, I knew that's all I could do.
"You," I stated, "Saying you're gay."
Silence. No words left his lips for a very long time. I grew more nervous as his gaze burned into me. Sweat accumulated on my palms and I'm sure some started to seep from my forehead. Keeping our stares locked the whole time it was as if we were going into a full on staring competition. Butterflies churned in my stomach and my heart raced at 100mph.
"So," I said finally, expecting he would meet me with a reply.
When I didn't I just helplessly searched for what to say.
"Do you remember what I said in reply?" I asked nervously.
"Yes." he stated.
And we were back to silence...
If theirs one thing I've learnt about Phil over my years of knowing him it's that he never wants to go first. Even in initiation of the friendliest conversation in the world he would always wait for someone else to start so he could lead on. He was always too scared of being ignored.
However, here I was giving him my complete attention and even attempting to begin talking and he was sat staring at me as if no words had left my mouth.
"And- and I meant what I said." I stuttered out finally, "It doesn't change anything."
He eyes glinted at this and I hoped this is what he had been waiting for: proof that it was okay in my sober brain and not just my drunken one.
"Really?" He asked, "You really mean that?"
I wasn't too sure why he was so sceptical about it all. We both know a lot of gay people and he knows that when they came out I didn't change myself around them. Why should this be any different.
"Course I do. You're my best friend you idiot and nothing will change that."
Immediately realising how sappy I sounded I leaned back on the couch to attempt a more casual approach at everything; however, I really don't think that changed the perspective.
Even though my new sitting position reduced my vision, I saw his expression and it made me extremely happy to know that he was cheery. Just yesterday he had cried his eyes out on my shoulder and then we'd went and got unforgivably drunk and now he's over the moon.
Not only that but it meant: I got to study his happy face (which may I add it breathtaking) ; not only that but it meant I didn't have to insure the frustration of me not being able to help his sadness. I just loved to see him smile.
Actually, scratch that. I just love him.
A/N--SURPRISE CHAPTER. Not only am I aware that this chapter is pretty short but I am also aware it's extremely sappy-- and I'm not even sorry about it. You really should have been expecting the emotional parts to be coming soon. And may I say there will be a lot more to come. Plus, I know I once said this fic would only be about 50 chapters long but fuck that (sorry swore) I'm just gonna roll with it and see how the plot develops. You lot are clueless as to what happens next and so am I, because I am rubbish at planning things but ok ok. I hope you enjoyed this surprise :)
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A Dream come true
FanfictionDan and Phil have lived together for a very long time and over that time have both developed feelings for each other. Despite the feelings being hard to ignore, neither of them want to admit that they've fallen in love with there best friend.