A Dream come true

Dan's POV

I don't know why I told him to stop; i think it was out of fear of what would come next. However, what scared me more is when he didn't stop. Would he have carried on if I hadn't pushed him off so violently? I knew he would never do something as drastic as force himself on me but he's always been so careful and considerate. I just presumed he'd stop immediately when I said so.

I would've enjoyed letting things go further, (of course after years of imagining it I would've) but I just couldn't jump into it too fast. One moment it was just normal best friend talk, then it was arguing then I was half naked and kissing him. It was all too fast. I like things to go at a pace I'm comfortable with and in that situation, in that moment, I just wasn't.

***

As soon as I walked out of the house I knew things would be awkward between us for the next few days or even weeks; I did actually contemplate if I should go back in and apologize but I realized it was a bit late for that now.

The day after, we didn't even look each other in the eye. There was no: making each other breakfast or watching anime together. He didn't do his normal routine of banging on my door loudly and shouting that I was a lazy ass who needed to get out of bed, he just strolled past my bedroom door as if I wasn't there. We ate separately at lunch time and there was defiantly no conferring on what each of us had. I settled for the option of a second bowl of cereal that I whimsically left while scrolling through Tumblr, in my room. I didn't even allow myself the comfort of sitting on the couch and as I rolled around uncomfortably in bed trying to find the perfect browsing position It did cross my mind if I should just stop being so sinister about the situation and talk to him as if nothing had happened. I eventually decided against that idea.

Thursday wasn't really much different with us still only having conversation when completely necessary. This time he did actually alert me I should get up, not in his usual boisterous way, he sort of hit my door violently twice when he walked past it and said nothing. We actually are together but said nothing during the master chef rerun that was on the TV which neither of us could be bothered to change. As soon as Phil finished his Pizza he stood up, straightened his T-shirt and just walked upstairs without a single spoken word.

I could no longer tell if the tension between us was just sheer awkwardness or of sexual origin. Was it because we were both trying desperately to keep our hands off each other despite how much they wanted to wander or was it that we'd already let them wander far enough.

Brooding over the top for three days began to wear me down and I started to wonder if we should just face each other. We work together in every aspect of life, not always in a professional sense either. He's my best friend, we live together for gods sake, it's impossible that we carry on pretending the other doesn't exist. It's literally a harrowing thought that one day we might not be Dan and Phil. We each could move on in life, for all I know now we could end up Dan and his boyfriend Jeff, or Phil and his husband Jim. We're always just Dan and Phil. The two boys with crappy YouTube channels with weird ass Tumblr edits and funny, creative fans who say we've inspired them in loads of different ways. I used to stare at a computer screen and listen to his northern accent speak such nice things and wonder how I could ever get to know such a lovely guy. Now it's always us together. Our entire lives based on our duo functioning.

But right now it wasn't functioning. It was crumbling apart and slipping past my fingertips no matter how hard I tried to cling on.

I needed to make this better. We needed to make this better. We needed each other or at least I needed him. I needed his constant reassurance that what I was doing was good, I needed his adorable laugh lighting up my mood and I need his thieving hands stealing my cereal. Because that's us. That's Dan and Phil. Nothing more. Nothing less. We were a duo, a pair, neither worked without the other.

A/N--Sorry for the short sloppy ass filler chapter but hangover lmao sorry not even sorry. I hope you enjoy Dan telling the many awkward tales and him getting all gentle and soppy over the entire situation because I had no fucking idea what the flip to write. Even though I knew the whole plot line thing I just didn't know how to form it to sentences. Is that a thing? It is now anyways. Okay yeah hope you enjoy this one and BYEEEEE