You (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Denial, Anger, and Love (Chapter 18)

I decided I didn't want to wait to write or post the next part so I'm just going to post it right now!

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Your procedures had finally all been completed. With a little anesthesia here and some stitches there, your body should be back to working condition in no time. Your leg would be sore for some time, but you would be able to walk normally in a few weeks. As the anesthesia was wearing off, the team was finally able to come to see you, and you were so grateful to see all of them again. 

Garcia ran in first, throwing her arms around you with a big smile. Everyone else followed in, and you didn't even notice the slight pain from the cut on your stomach while in the embraces of your team. "How are you?" Prentiss asked. "I...I'm okay. I'm still processing everything...it's just all been so much. I didn't even know my father had been released and now...he's gone. I hated him...but he's still gone..."

It was just then when you were sick of denying how awful he was...when all of the censoring you did to forget what a terrible person your father was came crashing down. You didn't feel bad anymore...you were pissed. The looks of everyone on the team shifted when they read your body language. They could tell you were thinking something. 

"(Y/N)...?" JJ asked. "Actually no...I'm not upset that he's dead. Good riddance. He was a terrible man and frankly, this world will be better off without him." You had no idea where this was all coming from. Was it the little bit of anesthesia still in your system? Were you finally getting clarity for how awful he was because the pressure of the scene was off? 

Everyone was taken aback, including yourself. "I...I'm sorry I don't know what came over me..." You honestly couldn't tell if you meant what you said or not. 

"You're grieving (Y/N)...not just your father, but the whole situation of trauma that you were in...you're probably on your anger stage of grief..." Spencer said quietly. Even now they were still profilers, and you couldn't forget that. He was probably right, people mourn more than just the losses of others. And even if your grief wasn't just directed at your father, it was directed at what he did to you 

He hurt you...he kidnapped you...you couldn't deny that any longer. 

"(Y/N)...If your ready we have to ask...what happened in there?" Hotch asked, his stern voice sounding softer than usual. 

"Well, I was walking to my car when someone came up behind me and grabbed me. I felt a sharp pain in my neck so I had to have been drugged. When I woke up I was tied to the bed in that basement. After a while, my father came in and tore into me. We were arguing and...that's when I got all the cuts and the bruises on my face. The other guy knocked on the door before he could really hurt me, and he was gone for a while, I don't really know how long...my sense of time was so skewed. But my dad never came back...it was Duncan the next time. He just...stared at me for some time. And then he moved toward me and...and just...made me so...uncomfortable. I think I know what he was going to do...but I can't bring myself to think about it. If you guys hadn't had gotten there in time...I just can't imaigine" 

They all seemed to understand, and their looks of sadness as you explained what happened to you made you feel so upset. Tears escaped from your eyes and you looked away, you don't know why you were so embarrassed by your emotions. "I didn't even know my father was released...and where did Duncan come from...?"

"He was a cellmate with your father, released one week before him," Rossi answered. You nodded. "I'm going to have to testify aren't I?" you asked. "Yes," was all Hotch said in response. You didn't want to think about seeing him again, his face disgusted you. "(Y/N), I'm giving you 5 weeks off, if you need more time, we can discuss that when the time comes. For now, however, I feel like that's appropriate initially. Also, you're going to have some madndatory visits with the staff therapist," Hotch said, you could tell he wasn't going to budge, even if you wanted to work. You shouldn't use work as a distraction though, and you did need to sort out the trauma you just experienced.