Forget me not • Felix

Chapter 26

The conversation Felix and I had was a long one. A difficult one.
He explained about why he left, that he couldn't take it and that he knew that I was slowly finding Jisung more and more atttractive. While he was aware that I would never cheat on him, and I didn't, he couldn't watch his lover fall in love with someone else. Though, even with his time away, apparently it was hard for him to get me out of his head. I felt sorry for the boy. While I was living my new life with Jisung, he couldn't bear it even from afar.

The only person that he still kept in contact with was my brother. Even then, it wasn't as often as they normally spoke. Felix would, on occasion, ask about me and how I was doing but the answer from Chan was usually the same.
'It'll just hurt you more'
Gradually, he chose to stop asking but the thought never left his mind. He was nervous about the party we attended together, he knew I was probably going to be there and hesitated so much. Just the thought of us coming face to face at any point on his return had him jittery. My brother had even told him not to speak to me but he stumbled upon me in the kitchen anyway.

Felix told me everything I said - from begging him not to leave me to implying that we still lived together. The boy explained that he wasn't sure how to react at the time. On one hand, he was grateful that any memory of him and I came back to me, yet, the harsh reality of Jisung and I crept back in. He wasn't sure what his first interaction with Jisung would be either. Though, apparently Jisung was pretty happy to see Felix, despite the latter cutting off all ties to the other. Felix's half of the talk was tricky to listen to, my sympathy and empathy for him was so strong, I felt awful.

When it was my turn, I went on to explain the flashbacks and dreams I would have about my life with Felix. The way I couldn't decipher whether it was reality or fiction. Felix encouraged me to say all those that I could remember and when they started coming back etc. I mentioned that the memories increased the more I was around Felix and even jokingly said that if he'd have stayed around then my memories could have been back sooner. He disagreed, he claimed that I needed the time away to relax and enjoy life before I could regain lost time. Who knows really!

I didn't really want to go into too many details about my time with Jisung and the dates etc because it was kind of irrelevant now. Though, I chose to go into detail about the ice skating date and asked him about it.
"Do you remember an ice skating date we went on?"
He drifted off for a second before nodding, "you couldn't quite keep your balance and kept asking for my help"
~
"I don't want to fall"
He smiled, "you won't, I got you"
~
So it was true deja vu, both lines had been said by both Jisung and Felix. This session was so helpful for me and fit all the loose pieces together, just like I had wanted.

~~~

Jisung was moving out to live with Minho and it was agreed that Felix would move back in with me. Uncovering all our old decorations was interesting.
"You kept these?"
Felix held up the old photo frames we used to keep round the house originally.
I nodded, "of course, I'm not one of these people that smashes photos"
He smiled at my comment and I continued, "plus I thought it would help get the memories back of these times"
Placing things back where they used to be before all of this, there was something sweet about it. Although, we didn't put it exactly the same as before. Felix and I chose a new set of decorations to mix the old and the new.

It was our new home.

Living with Felix was one thing but we saved restarting a relationship for a bit later on down the line. We took it slow and steady. A relationship suited to us.
It was so lovely, something that we could both get settled back into. On occasions, I would catch Felix looking at me, dreamily looking with hearts in his eyes. The boy would snap out of it when he realised my attention was drawn to him as his was to me. I always loved it though because I knew he was just happy to have me back and have our lives somewhat back to normal.

One night, after I returned from my work at the shop, there were rose petals scattered from the doorway leading further into the house. I hummed to myself, slowly taking my jacket off and placing my bag by the door as I shut it.
"Felix?" I called out.
No response. I smiled and just decided to play along, following the petals.
Upon entering where the dinner table was, I saw a pattern of candles in a heart shape and decorations readied for a meal. This was so beautiful. As I scanned the table, from the heart confetti to the sprinkling of rose petals, I noticed a small piece of paper where I usually sit.

"Surprise! Please change into something smart but comfy before dinner - Lix :)"

Alright then. I wandered into the bedroom and picked out one of my favourite dresses. Not only was it one of my favourites, it was one of Felix's favourites too. I brushed my hair back into a neat style. Everything was so magical, it was amazing. Once I was happy with my look, I left the bedroom to come face to face with the man himself.
"You look stunning"
I smiled and returned the compliment with my own, "thank you Lix, you scrub up well"
Felix wore a lovely looking suit, one that I hadn't seen before but was glad I got the chance to see, he looked amazing. Oh, and the dinner he cooked, even more amazing.

At the end of the meal, Felix slipped his hand over mine, shyly looking me in the eyes and asked me to close my eyes. I agreed and heard the boy rustling. When he instructed me to open them up, I saw the smallest red box in front of me. I let go of his hand and turned my full attention towards it. As I carefully lifted it open, a small silver ring was perfectly positioned in the centre. Engraved on it was the word, "stay".
"It's beautiful" I cooed.
Felix held up his hand, an identical ring on his pinky finger.
"It's a promise ring Y/N, and with it, I promise to stay with you forever."
I leapt up and wandered round the table to give Felix a big hug. This was one of the sweetest gifts he'd got me and meant so much more.

From that moment on, I wore it always. Felix wore his all the time too. Lee Felix was my soulmate and I couldn't be happier.